Some Wounds Never Heal

No Sudden Movements

Chapter 47:

Oliver's Point of View

My birthday comes and goes, just like any other day. My parents try to cheer me up with presents and cake but I'm way past being cheered up. I need something that the mortal world can't give me and therefore I can't be cheered up.

My mom seems to be more worried than usual about me and she's been hovering over me every minute for the past few days. I guess I've been more depressed lately. I haven't left my room in almost three days and the only things I've managed to keep down are some crackers, my anti-depressants and Red Bulls.

My anti-depressants aren't doing much to improve my mood which means I'm probably due for another appointment with the oh-so-fun Dr. Byrne to discuss my feelings and change my meds again.

"Hey Oliver, how you feeling, sweetheart?" She asks as she offers me a grilled cheese sandwich.

I disregard it like everything else she's tried to force me to eat.

"Oliver, you have to eat something...If you don't you'll become all skin and bones...Just one bite, please..." My mother pleads.

I take one bite, but only because I've put her through enough pain already. I chew slowly but don't taste anything. It tastes like blank nothingness, much like everything after Beckinsile left.

She sighs as she carts the plate out of the room and back down to the kitchen. I down a couple of anti-depressants but they do nothing to improve my mood. I still feel angry and guilty and sad. I don't feel happy or light like the label promised I would. I feel just as bad as usual, maybe even worse.

I log onto my laptop and look through my photo album of her for what must be the millionth time since the funeral. I turn on my playlist of depressing and angry music as I begin to cry softly again due to the passing images of my beautiful girlfriend.

~~~~~

I grab my jacket, a house key and my phone before opening the front door.

"Where are you going, Oliver?" My mom calls from the kitchen.

"I'm going for a walk to clear my head...No need to worry...I love you, mom." I say as I rush out the door.

I walk down the black pavement towards my high school. The building is deserted for the summer and there are only a few cars in the parking lot, probably teachers who are trying to get a head start on the year. I follow the curving path to the side of the school where there's a ladder to the roof. My hands tremble as I climb the metal rungs up to the roof.

The top of the school is blanketed by gravel and a few machines that run pivotal parts of the school such as the heating and air conditioning.

I walk cautiously towards the edge and sit down. The sun has just set and the moon is becoming more prominent in the sky. The stars are beginning to dot the dark night and I'm reminded of the time we'd laid on Eli's front yard and stared up at the night sky.

The stars aren't as impressive as they were at his house but they still remind me of her so I admire them as if they are the most beautiful thing in the world.

"So Beckinsile, this has where the loss of you has led me, the roof of our high school...The place where we first met and the last place we were together. So many things have changed since you were here; I don't know where to start. For one thing, when you were here I wasn't depressed and I never questioned why I was living because I had you and that was enough. You made my life worth it, I can't exactly explain why, but you did and I can never thank you enough for being part of it. I promise I'll do anything for us to be together soon. I need to see your shining face in more than pictures; I need to see the real thing again. I need to hold you and kiss you and tell you how much you mean to me. Beckinsile, I don't even know what to do anymore. Without you there is no place on earth for me...You were my place, where I belonged and without you I'm lost...I'm so lost that I'm not even living life, I'm just tolerating the fact that I still have to be here...Becks, I need you back..." I cry out and bury my face in my hands as I weep.

~~~~~

Ed's Point of View

I drive up to Oliver's house with Fiona in toe. I'd handed the song off to my label executives a few hours ago and they told me that they'd alert me once they've found a good home for it.

I've decided that Fi, Oliver and I needed a night out after everything that has happened and that's what's led me to being in his driveway right now. Fi and I walk up to his front door and knock loudly so the people in the house will be able to hear us. His mother, tired and worried looking, comes to answer the door.

"Hello Ed, Fiona...Are you looking for Oliver?"

"Yes, ma'am...Do you know where he is?" I ask politely.

"He said he needed some fresh air and went for a walk about an hour ago... I should probably go look for him..."

"Oh, no worry, we can do that for you Mrs. Marshall..." Fi says in a kind tone. "Which direction did he go in?"

"That way," Mrs. Marshall points down the street and there's only one destination that comes from walking that way; the high school.

That's when realization strikes across my face. I race back to my car and turn on the ignition. Fiona hops in and I race down towards the school.

"Call Eli and have him and the other Death By Diamonds people meet us there...There's only one thing that Oliver can be doing at the high school in late August and it's not something we want him to go through with..." I shout as Fi dials the number and screams at Eli to meet us at the school ASAP.

"You don't think he'd really do it do you?" Fi asks as tears well up in her eyes.

"I don't know...He's seemed really depressed lately so I'm not exactly sure what he'd do anymore..." I take in a sharp breath as we pull into a park in the middle of the parking lot at the back of the school.

I cup my hands around my eyes and try to spot a figure on the roof. It's too dark for me to see anything, so I rush to the side of the school where the ladder is.

"We can't lose him too..." Fiona whispers in a choked up tone.

"That's why we have to go find him and stop him from doing this. Just follow my lead when we get up there."

I step cautiously onto the roof and then I see Oliver sitting right near the edge of it.

"No sudden movements..." I say out of the corner of my mouth.

I hear some people down below us clamber up the ladder and do the exact same thing I am. Eli and his buddies direct their tense glances towards Oliver. Oliver stands and steps up onto the ledge.