It's complicated {completed}

33

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"What the hell have you been thinking?" He yells at me once we're outside. At the back of the bar I guess, it's a big park but it's too dark to make out more.

"What?" My voice is shaky. I never heard him yelling at me like this before. He's furious.

"You can't just fucking come in there dressed like that. Maya. Damn it I thought you were smarter than that." He's pacing up and down and pulls his hair, while I decide to just sit down on a big rock. He's nervous. Or almost scared.

"I'm sorry. I... I didn't know..."

"Fuck." He yells again. I pull my knees up to my chest and try my best to stay calm. I can't hide the fact of him scaring me right now. The way he's currently acting, I don't know that Zane. It's not him. He let's out a frustrated sigh as he looks at me and sits down next to me, looking far out.

"You're bleeding." He lets out a small chuckle.
"What? This is not funny you idiot." I snap.

"Out of everything that just happened you're most worried about me bleeding?"

"Just because I don't mean anything to you it doesn't mean it's the same for me." I croak out.

"Princess." He said it for the first time again.

"Don't. It's okay."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to." He whispers.

"But you did." I try to stay brave but I can already feel a tear rolling down my cheek. Gosh why do I always have to be so weak whenever he's around me.
I get up frustratedly, ready to just leave. I've been trying enough.

"And it was the worst mistake I've ever done." It's his voice that stops me though.
"But why did you do it then?" I'm angry now.

"Because." He takes a deep breath but doesn't continue.

"Okay whatever. You know I've been trying over and over again. But I can't just deal with it anymore, I came here to tell you to stop with that shit and to come back home. But I guess you don't want to hm? Just whatever you do try to be safe okay?" I get up and take a deep breath, ready to leave it all behind and just go turn around and start a new chapter but his voice holds me back once again.

"Home? There is no home for me. I messed up big time and I know it. You know it. Everyone does. I can't come back, I can't just leave all of this."

"If you really wanted to, you could. There is always a way. But you decided not to fight for what you actually want. You picked the easy path."

"Easy? You think any of this is fucking easy for me? Every single day I'm not only risking my life but the life of every single person I care about. Do you know how fucking hard that is. And you showing up here tonight... It's only gonna be worse for you and me from now on. So no leaving is not even an option for me right now. Not if it's your life we're talking about. I'm trying to fucking protect you, damn it. " And there he is. The Zane I always loved and always will. The one who would do anything to keep you safe. The one who would rather risk his own life than letting anything happen to you.

"Look at me Zane. I am here and I am fine. Everything is going to be okay." I stand in front of him and when he looks up right into my eyes I can see him. His pain. No walls hiding his emotions, just Zane 

"But what if not?" He looks so heartbroken and scared.

"But what if it does? Please come back. This is not your right path. Please." I kneel in front of him and take his hands into mine. It's all or nothing now. "You deserve this Zane. You deserve happiness. You deserve to follow your dreams. To make them become reality. But this here, I know you're only trying to protect the people you care about, but there needs to be another way. I know there is. Please just this once trust me?" I look right into his beautiful green eyes and all the pain I can see is tearing me apart. He deserves so much better than this. We just stare into each other's eyes for a while until he nods.