The Funeral Style

Chapter Forty-Seven

Chapter Forty-Seven

How is it, that one day your life can change so immensely, and the next you are right back to the life you thought you were content with, but not really. Not really.  

It was a small casket, decorated with fine jewels and sprinkled on gold dust. I found no pleasure in the extremities of the funeral. The riches meant nothing to me, but I knew it was how Elias worked, so I let him do as he pleased.

There were no maids this time. No one joined us for this burial. It was just me, and him. We stood over the grave, and together we threw a rose into the earth, before we each grabbed a shovel, and buried the casket.

This was the first time Elias had no words to say.

The tombstone was bare, with nothing but the name 'Parity' engraved on it. We have no way of knowing whether our child was a boy or a girl, nor did we pick a name for it.

All we were sure of, was that it earned the Parity name, whether it was not known, or known entirely.

"Do you wonder," I say, having no tears to cry, "What would have become of this person?"

"Who it'd be."

"Yeah," I say with a slight nod, "How it's presence would affect the world."

"I suppose," Elias spoke, as he studied the tiny grave in front of him, "These are questions we will never be granted answers for." He waved his hand, "We'll always be wondering, who our child could have been, the people it would have inspired, the man or woman it would have loved, it is all something that will never be something. Not now."

"I guess not."

We stand there for a while longer. Though I didn't know the child, I knew it was mine, and I felt as though I had lost a piece of me. If this is what being a mother is like, I can't imagine having a living, breathing, human being all of my own.

It would be my world.

I began to feel splatters of rain drops on my shoulders, and face. I glance up at the sky to see a cloudy mass, hiding the sun as though they were playing a game.

What a fitting time it is to rain.

Elias turned to me, "Let us go back inside now. The Earth is telling us it needs to mourn."

"Go without me." I say softly, "I'll be right behind you, I just need to do something first."

He stares at me for a moment, before nodding, and walking back into the funeral building. I wait until he is gone before I head up the stone path of the cemetery, to an all-too familiar section. I avoid this area, haven't been to it in months.

I stop, hearing the small drops of rain hit the leaves of the trees, and allow the water to soak my clothes and skin.

I look down and see my sister's grave staring back up at me.

"Hello Amanda." I greet her, "It's been a long time since I've last visited you."

A soft wind moved the rose bushes beside me, the scent of budding flowers surround me, and I feel warm despite standing in the rain. "So much has happened since I last spoke to you." I say to her, or rather, her tombstone, her beautiful grave. "I married that freak who buried you." I laughed, unable to stop myself, "And the idiot got me pregnant." I didn't laugh at that. "I found out I was pregnant yesterday. I was going to become a mother, Amanda." I plucked a rose from the rose bush, not caring if Elias would throw a fit or not, "It seems my body couldn't handle it right now, and last night, it died."

I sniff the rose in my hands, and pretended it was my sister's expensive perfume she'd always wear to school every morning. As a kid, I'd sometimes sneak into her bedroom and spray some on myself without her knowing. I'd sometimes spray too much on myself which resulted in making me, and anyone within a ten feet radius of me, dizzy and sick. I thought it was so cool, though. Maggie would even come to my house before school sometimes just to steal some perfume for herself.

I smile at the memory.

"I didn't know my child," I continue, "But you do now. Wherever you two are, that child is for you now. I know you'll love them just as much as I do." I threw the rose on the grave, "I love you, Amanda."

When I return to the building, Elias approached me, "Have you done all you needed?"

I grin at him, knowing I look a mess with my hair and clothes soaked in rain, "I think so."

"Then get dry, you'll get sick, and that is so unpleasant."

I roll my eyes and walk to the dressing room where there was dried clothing laid out and waiting for me. After I changed, I stood in front of the mirror, and stared at myself. My makeup was ruined from the rain, and my hair was still dripping, but the rest of my body was dry, that was all I cared about.

I hadn't heard Elias open the door, until he stepped into the room, closing the door behind him.

"I have been thinking about things." He said at last, after taking in the sight of me with makeup running down my face.

I stare at him through the mirror, "What things?"

"Starting a family." He said stepping over to me, and wrapping his long arm around my shoulder, pulling me into him. "This misfortune has enlightened me to a possibility of a grander future."

"Is that so?" I glanced up at him, seeing a light in his eyes that sent a thrill through my body. "And what kind of future is that?"

"One of less unfortunate causalities."

"Yeah, I think that's expected."

That made him smile "I want a life with you, I want children that will be just as beautiful as you and I, the world is full of such death and forgotten people. Is it so strange to want to change that, if only for a short lifetime?"

"Not at all." I lean into him; I feel the warmth of his body against mine. His heartbeat is rapid, and I find myself thinking about just how much I love him, him and all his strange ways that may not be as strange as I had once thought.

We look up at each other, and his gorgeous eyes stare down at me with such admiration and enthusiasm, and I want to kiss him, so I don't stop myself, and I do.

His lips as soft and familiar and everything I want. I wrap my arms around his neck and pull myself up on the tips of my toes so I can match his tall height, and he kisses me back frivolously, his hands running through my wet hair. I can feel my heart racing in my ribcage, and I think about all the times I had hated him, and wonder what the hell was wrong with me.

This man, this cemetery, this life is something I didn't know I wanted until I managed to grasp the tiniest bits of it, resulting in me craving more and more and more until I couldn't rest until I had it all.

Elias Parity, my husband, my future, my now.

I now recognize everything he's ever tried to tell me. Death is not such an unfortunate mundane fate, when you live a life of influence and freedom.

To live this way, I will not regret dying in the future. To live with him, I will create more life than what death takes. That is all he has ever tried to tell me, and now, I understand.