Shakespeare one shots

Couple headcanons

Ok I have no clue where this came from but I'm running dry on the will to function so you'll have so settle for a while until I'm capable of existing again

Enjoy I guess

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Hamlet and Horatio:

- Here we go

- I love these two so much oh my God

- They're gaaay

- Hamlet will smoothly compliment Horatio

- Making him blush and stutter

- Adorably, of course

- Horatio will try the same thing but it ends up being really odd

- Like they'll be watching a movie

- And Ham will say "that was the cutest moment ever" in a fanboyish way

- And Horatio will go "you're the cutest moment ever... wait, no-"

- But it's fine because Ham just laughs and kisses him

- They're really chill about PDA

- Hand holding, kissing, sitting on laps

- Specifically Ham sitting on Horatio's lap

- Like all the time

- No matter what Horatio does, Hamlet will always choose his lap over a chair

- Hamlet is smooth as hell

- With literally everything

- And Horatio loves it

- Like one time someone was catcalling him

- And Hamlet grabs Horatio and shamelessly dips him into an ultra-dramatic kiss then and there

- They're pretty spontaneous

- Especially with kisses

- They've actually made a game out of surprising each other with kisses

- It's gone so far that their friends always carefully peek around corners for fear of one of them ambushing the other

- They nearly gave Helena a heart attack that way

- Horatio's favorite thing ever is their passionate kisses when there's no one else around

- Because 1. They lead to sex 65% of the time

- And because 2. Horatio becomes putty in Hamlet's arms when his back is to a wall

- Let me set the scene...

- (Long paragraph warning)

- They just got back to their apartment after a movie night with the clan, and they're both pretty happy. After coats/shoes/whatever are off, they're just kinda standing there until Hamlet grabs Horatio by the hips and just kisses him. Horatio runs his fingers through Hamlet's hair and kisses back. They're fairly even dominance-wise until Hamlet starts walking forward. Horatio backs up and hits a wall, making him gasp and tense up for a moment before relaxing. Hamlet smirks a little into the kiss. He knows damn well that Horatio needs a little push to be submissive, but once it's happened, he's a completely different person. Speaking of Horatio, he's now hypersensitive to everything Hamlet does, which tends to be running his hands along Horatio's chest, back, and hips. Every little thing drives him insane.

- Like I said, this leads to sex 65% of the time. For obvious reasons.

- I should move to a different couple now

Hermia and Lysander:

- Theater kids

- Oh my Lucifer, such theater kids

- All the directors cast them as romantic leads because they have such great chemistry onstage

- They never audition without each other

- They're that annoying but amazing couple that bursts into duets with no warning

- Like, someone will say the words "Hear ye" and suddenly they're off on Farmer Refuted

- From time to time they'll drag someone else in, and Puck had reported being Jared in a Sincerely Me outburst on multiple occasions

- Hermia is so chill with the fact that Lys is bi

- She doesn't feel threatened or weirded out or anything negative at all, it's amazing

- She goes to pride with him all the time

- She aggressively defends him from homophobes

- They don't like to stay at home quietly

- Lazy home days are rare

- If they've got a day off, they'll go to a movie or the park or something

- Sometimes even last-minute camping trips if it's a long weekend

- They sometimes answer questions for each other or complete the other's sentence

- It's creepy and fascinating at the same time

- They don't ever really fight

- They might argue, but never fight

- There's no lies or secrets with these two, just an abundance of trust and affection

- And in the hypothetical scenario that they did fight, both of them would feel hecking awful until they resolved it

Demetrius and Helena:

- Basically the opposite of Lysander and Hermia

- Soooo many quiet reading sessions

- These two can just sit next to each other and read for hours and hours

- They make weirdly little eye contact

- But not in a bad way!

- They tend to just hold hands and go about their business, it's enough for them to know that the other is there

- They often have long philosophical discussions about everything from movies to human behavior to the nature of time

- If anyone's going to cure the planet of all that ails it, it'll be them

- They're the brain power couple

- Like a regular power couple, but smarter than everyone they argue with

- Speaking of arguing, it's just that

- Arguing. Not fighting.

- Mostly really petty stuff, actually

- Petty petty petty petty (sorry lol couldn't help myself)

- Helena is a very chill person about every topic

- Demetrius is the same, usually

- Unless the topic is anything sexual at all

- He's a mess at that point

- Think about sex ed in middle school, then give the person three close friends who are all very comfortable talking about it

- There you go

- So Helena sometimes makes sex jokes

- Not because she thinks they're funny, but because Demi gets all flustered and it's cute

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Yeah, I'm tired. Just went to the MoA, though, so that's fun. My house has been invaded by distant family because my uncle's getting married and it's hectic.

I just noticed how much more dashes there are for Hamlet and Horatio. I guess that shows how much I ship them.

Imma sleep now.

Goodnight, faeries. May you find your family, whoever that may be.