Shakespeare one shots

They're All Hecking Gay (ft. King of Denmark)

The headcanon I'm using for King Hamlet in this one is that he's a homophobic bitch that literally no one likes. Don't like don't read.

EVERYONE IS GAY IN THIS ONE and I have no regrets. Some inter-play ships because there are a total of two female characters in Hamlet and I couldn't put Phe and Gertrude together with a clean conscience.

♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤

Warning: strong homophobia and mentions of abuse
~ My PoV ~

"Yo, Ham, you feeling okay? You're a little greener than usual."

Hamlet nodded hesitantly. Normally he would tell Ophelia all about his problems when he was nervous, but today was not that kind of problem.

"She's right, my lord, you do look stressed. How much sleep did you get?"

Hamlet avoided Horatio's concerned gaze, muttering a quiet "three hours" to his boyfriend.

Horatio took Hamlet's hand and squeezed it gently, fully believing him about the three hours part, but he'd developed a sense for when the prince was hiding something.

It really wasn't that hard, though, so not exactly one of the scholar's greatest achievements.

He exchanged a glance with Ophelia; a silent agreement to keep an eye on Hamlet and figure out what was scaring him. (And then to viciously annihilate it, but that part was mostly Ophelia.)

The two, true to their nonexistent word, analyzed their friend throughout that day.

Horatio noticed Hamlet's concerning lack of initiated PDA. He'd barely even reach for Horatio's hand, and he'd nervously scan the area beforehand when he did. He was particularly tense in the busy halls, where he hardly even looked at Horatio.

Ophelia noticed how Hamlet was constantly fiddling with the ring on his left middle finger, a large gold piece that signified his royal status that no one really paid attention to anymore. He'd also stare worriedly at the many other LGBTQ+ couples, a glint in his eye bordering the line between apology and panic.

Even Mercutio seemed to have picked up that something was going on. Or maybe Benvolio noticed and told him.

The confusions of Hamlet's classmates would be resolved in the politics lecture they were currently preparing for.

Looking around the room, one would be hard-pressed to find a straight couple. Or even a straight person.

Ros and Guil were giggling hysterically about something together, Demetrius was was going over homework answers with Helena while his boyfriend and her girlfriend quoted musicals at each other, Romeo and Laertes were tossing paper airplanes back and forth, Mercutio was doing something on his phone while Benvolio looked on in a combination of amusement and mild horror, Ophelia was happily doodling flowers and hearts on Juliet's arm with her fancy art pen, Paris was working tiny braid number eleven into a quietly suffering (but still brooding) Tybalt's hair, and, of course, Horatio was trying desperately to figure out what the hell was going on with Hamlet.

In other words, pretty normal pre-class activities.

The students fell relatively silent as an intimidating man with a strong aura of importance strode straight from the door to the desk at the front of the room, only seeming to acknowledge the abundance of other humans in the room when his many papers were in order.

His cold eyes swept around the room. He plucked a piece of paper from the organized mess and only glanced up from it as he spoke.

"Mr. Montague had other business to attend to today, and requested that I teach your sorry asses. Now, I know some of the troublemakers in this group," he shot a pointed look at Ros and Guil, "but I'm sure they won't give me any trouble," another look, "and I hope nobody else will."