Like Strangers In The Night

chapter 12

Dear Holland,

I know I messed up. I was a real dick about the way I reacted today.

I'm surer now that you won't get your heart broken by me. I knew from day one that I wasn't good enough for you. I might have broken your heart just now. Maybe I have even in the past.

What happened with Kim was years ago and now suddenly she came back into my life and expects me to get back with her. Truth is I still have feelings for you Holland, they will never go away. That's why I wanted to get away, I needed some time for myself. I gave Kim money and told her to leave. I found her a nice place, she was really happy about it. I believe she changed, she is more appreciative now and she was the one who told me I should take some time off for my own good. We decided its best if we stay away from each other. But don't worry, she is in my past now.

Then I decided why not go to the best hotel in town and also be close to you. I had planned on coming to your house or taking you out for dinner and talk for a while but then today happened. Although it hurts to know I hurt you, I still think it's better than me falling in love with you when I see you and forget what I really wanted to say. I hope all this makes a bit of sense to you. It's not every day I write these kind of emails.

I want you to be happy. I want you to find someone good and get married, have a family and grow old.

But I'll still be here my love, forever in your heart. At least I hope.

I know how many times I rejected talking about my past but I really didn't want to hurt you.

I don't want you to forget about me but at the same time I do.

I also don't want you to think this has anything to do with you. This was my decision! I did this!

You changed me Holland, you did so from day one. From the day I first hugged you, I could feel loved again.

You are one special woman and you didn't deserve a man like me.

I know I helped you when I offered to give you shelter. I didn't think it would end like this, I didn't even think we'd come this far.

I'm sorry I never called you back. I had decided that it would be best if we stopped from the day you left me. I was alone with my thoughts and they kept telling me I am no good for you. I didn't want you to worry about me so I never said anything. You were off to find a new life just like you always dreamed.

I hope that one day you will forgive me for all I've done.

Love always,

David

2 months later

Holland's POV.

"Hey David.

I came to see you. Here I am on top of the grass and under it you were buried 2 months ago.

I couldn't forgive myself and no matter what you say I believe that part of it was my fault. I shouldn't have talked to you that way but I was mad. You treated me like an adult and made me feel loved. One of the reasons I liked you was that you believed in me, you believed I could make history, you believed I was capable of anything, that I could make my dreams come true.

All the things you told me when I was down made me come back up stronger. But when I saw that you didn't care anymore it destroyed me and I asked myself how all of those happy days turned into nights of me crying myself to sleep wondering what I did wrong that you wouldn't speak to me.

That day, I broke and told you what I had been keeping all those months you never spoke to me.

I know I did the right thing not saying sorry. You needed to hear how I felt. But you thought that I said that because I didn't love you anymore. That's not true! I said those things to show you that I needed you. I lacked your love David.

But what did you do? You did what you always do. You turned it off and forgot about everything. I know some part of you believed we could get back together and talk it trough, but you were scared of not getting what you wanted.

It hurt knowing you let someone like Kim back into your life and not me.

David, I can't live without you. Knowing I can't even see you, hurts. Even just seeing you would have been enough. But you decided to end your life because you thought that all your problems will end, right?

Well, I was a problem to you and I'm still here, I didn't end. I wasn't buried with you like all your other problems.

So today, after 2 months. I came to visit you, because I could never move on from you. I needed you by my side and you left.

But now... now I'll be by your side."

*Gunshot*

A few days later Holland was buried next to David just like the note on her bed said.

And so they both lay there, dead.

Like strangers in the night.