Is it Real or Just Another Crush?

22: First Kiss

Celine POV

Brian and I literally watched 6 hours worth of anime and downed hella ramen.

"Ugh, I feel like I'm going to walk out of this house fat." I tell Brian.

He laughs.

"But you'll still be beautiful."

"You're such a flirt." I say as I shake my head at him.

"I'm telling the fucking truth!" He yells. "Also, I thought you'd be happier now that I broke up with Rowan, you hated her."

"I don't know, I was really starting to become immune to her bitchy attitude."

"Damn, she is a bitch. Why did I date her for so long?"

He facepalms himself.

"If you were going to be this happy after breaking up with Rowan, why haven't you done it sooner, you big idiot?"

"Because I didn't discover I had feelings for someone else until recently."

Huh? Why doesn't it hurt that he said that? Is my heart not functioning correctly? I actually feel happy for him rather than jealous or upset or frustrated.

"Oh. Who is it? Do I know her?" I ask as I continue to scroll through the selection of anime we can watch.

"Celine."

"Yeah?"

I turn my head to look at him and he suddenly kisses me. This has been a moment I've been waiting for for years, but I'm not so sure that this is what I want anymore. He kisses me passionately and before it can go any further, I stop him and stand up. I laugh awkwardly.

"Brian...sweetums. What was that?" I ask nervously.

"I'm returning your feelings. I feel the same way, Celine. I'm sorry I didn't realize it before. Rowan made me realize that I'm in love with you and that you've always loved me as more than a friend."

I massage my temples and let out a loud sigh.

"Brian, I loved you for 7 years as more than a friend, but ironically, I'm sorry to say that I just want to be friends."

Tears start forming in his eyes.

"Is there anything I can do to bring your feelings back? I know I'm a tad late and there has to be some feelings for me somewhere in your heart."

I look down and shake my head.

"I just need some space right now. I'll see you around, Brian.

I leave his house and I go to Alena's.

"Why do you have that look on your face like something totally shocking just happened to you?"

"Because Brian just kissed me and confessed."

"What!!!???!!?" Alena, Chris, and Shay ask, getting closer to me.

"How did it feel? Magical?" Alena asks, painting an invisible rainbow in the air.

"You turned him down, didn't you?" Chris asks.

"It didn't feel right. Maybe it would've if it happened sooner, but it didn't."

"What did you say to him?" Shay asks.

"I said I just wanted to be friends and I want some space."

"So does that mean...you like Marcus??!" Alena asks.

"I don't know! I'm just so confused right now!" I yell with frustration in my voice.

"I can't believe he actually did that." Chris says.

"Wait! And that was your first kiss too!!!" Shay yells in realization.

I shake my head.

"What?!?!!?" Shay, and Alena yell.

Chris and I look guiltily at them.

"No!!!!" Alena yells.

"Yes." Chris says.

"You two said nothing happened!" Shay says.

"That's besides the point right now. I feel bad for Brian, but at the same time, it's his fault for being so damn late. He had 7 years to realize his feelings and now that he did, you don't even like him like that anymore." Alena sighs.

"I'm telling you, timing is everything." Shay says, shaking his head.

"I'm going to my room." I declare.

I go to my room and plop down on my bed. I go on my phone and change my lock screen and wallpaper to a picture of Shay and I to replace the pictures of Brian and I. I look through my camera roll and see the photos of Marcus and I from that day at Golden Gate Park. I call my dad's phone just to listen to his voice when it goes to voicemail. I break into tears and just cry into my soft pillow. Things are changing too fast and so am I. I just want it to stop for a second, just one second please.