Going Further {on hold}

Chapter Four: Voyeur

Something was definitely wrong.

Hongjoong could feel it in the air between them whenever he was with Seongwha. Whether they were alone or in a group setting there was something off and Hongjoong couldn't figure out if he had done something to upset his boyfriend.

It had been weeks since the last time they even touched each other and it began to feed into Hongjoong's mounting paranoia. One night back at the training facility, when they were finally alone, Hongjoong tried to initiate intimacy and was totally shut down. Seongwha couldn't look even look him in the eyes as he pushed him away and apologized over and over.

The smaller boy felt tears well up in his eyes that he tried desperately to hold back. "What happened to us?" He asked pitifully. "I don't understand Seongwha, please..."

"I just need some time Joongie," Seongwha didn't turn around when he answered him. His voice sounded strained as if he was battling with his own emotions. "There's something I have to tell you and it's hard to come out and say it... So please give me some time."

Hongjoong couldn't answer. He didn't trust his own voice to not betray how scared and hurt he felt at what he had said. Seongwha lowered his head and whispered another "I'm so sorry..." under his breath before leaving the room.

                                                                                           ***

Seongwha couldn't bear the thought of the things he had done with Wooyoung. It began to affect everything in his life including his work and the friendships he had with the other members of ATEEZ. He'd skip out on practices and cancel plans and just sit in his room wondering how he had made such a mess of things. Of course none of this compared to his romantic life.

The guilt whenever he was with Hongjoong was suffocating. That night when his boyfriend's roaming hands began to touch him over his pants he glanced at Hongjoong who was looking up at him expectantly. Since the last time they'd had sex he couldn't stop thinking about it. He ached to touch him back, to kiss his lips, to be inside him... He nearly caved in before a flash of a boy with dark eyes and purple hair went through his mind. Seongwha came back to himself and stopped Hongjoong from going any further. 

It killed Seongwha to see how badly this hurt him.

After he left the dorm he furiously wiped away tears as he walked back to his own room. He knew Hongjoong was in pain and confused from the shift in their relationship but he couldn't bring himself to be honest with what happened. He wasn't sure if he'd ever be ready to hurt Hongjoong that badly so he selfishly remained silent.

                                                                                           ***

Wooyoung was growing impatient. It had been nearly a month since that afternoon on the beach with Seongwha and the older male had begun avoiding him. Anytime they were alone Seongwha would make up some excuse and make a hasty retreat before Wooyoung had a chance to talk to him.

Wooyoung began fucking with reckless abandonment. He was like a man possessed well on his way to sexually ruin every trainee that dared to flirt with him. But even after every time he came the hunger to fuck would just take over once more.

Then one night while he had his headphones in he heard sniffling from somewhere in the room. He pulled out one bud and listened to the stifled sobs of Hongjoong in the bunk above him. It went on like that for a few minutes before he went quiet, his breathing evening out as he fell asleep. Wooyoung wondered if Seongwha had told him the truth and that was the reason behind his tears.

He looked back at his phone and pulled up the video again. He watched the blond hyung's face as he cried out in ecstasy, panting between his full lips and looking vulnerable in the pale light.

Wooyoung bit his lip to keep from moaning as he stroked himself under the covers. He imagined that it was him and not Seongwha pleasuring the cute boy. Shortly after he finished he laid there and fantasized what it'd be like to top someone as adorable as Hongjoong.

Then he began to formulate a plan.

                                                                                                   ***

Hongjoong stepped out from the recording studio for some fresh air. His mind was a mess and his coach could tell because it was beginning to affect his rapping. He excused the group's leader for the afternoon telling him to relax and come back ready to work hard the next day. So he wandered around lost in his thoughts before bumping into someone.

Hongjoong looked up into the dark eyes of Wooyoung who looked down at him with a grin. "Feeling a little distracted today?" He asked the older boy.

Hongjoong laughed a little without any humor in his face looking up at him from underneath his long eyelashes. "I guess you could say that..."

Wooyoung tilted his head to the side tucking his hands in his pockets. "Anything you wanna talk about hyung?"

"No not really," Hongjoong muttered looking away. He could feel that familiar lump forming in his throat. "Sorry Wooyoung I'm just really tired..."

Wooyoung placed a hand on his shoulder looking at him gently. "It's alright we don't have to talk. Oh, there's a great place that I always go to unwind." He pointed to a building that sat on the opposite end of the property. "The showers in the west building. They're completely empty so it's a great place to relax..." Then the last part he whispered in Hongjoong's ear so quietly the older boy wasn't sure he heard him right. "...or other things."

The blond boy felt his heart skip a beat at whatever Wooyoung was implying. He turned around to ask him what he meant but saw Wooyoung was already swiftly walking away, whistling to himself.

A few days went by without any interaction with Seongwha other than a couple wayward glances that made the ravenet cast his eyes to the floor. Hongjoong's heart grew heavy like it was made of lead. The only other member of ATEEZ who actively tried to talk about what had been bothering him was Wooyoung. Hongjoong was surprised by just how much the younger male seemed to care about his wellbeing. Maybe he's not as big of a player as everyone says he is? He wondered.

One night he decided to take up his suggestion and found himself entering the west building. After a long day of choreography and a few awkward encounters with Seongwha he felt like he needed a break.

Once he reached the showers he was so engrossed in his own thoughts he didn't notice the sound of one of the showers running. Hongjoong slipped out his clothes and tossed them onto a bench. He walked into an empty stall and finally noticed clouds of steam from an occupied shower next to him coiling around his feet. He also heard the sounds of someone breathing heavy through the divider.

"H-hongjoong-ah..." The low voice moaned. Hongjoong's eyes widened when he recognized the owner of the voice and pressed an ear against the wall. Now in addition to his breathing he could also hear the sound of wet slapping. He couldn't say why he did what he did next but Hongjoong stepped out of his stall to take a peek through the curtain next door. 

He saw Wooyoung, naked body dripping wet, pumping his erection quickly. He had his back leaned against the tiles with his eyes screwed shut, seemingly unaware of the audience he had on the other side of the curtain. Hongjoong watched curiously as his hard member slipped in and out of his fist. The older boy felt himself getting turned on as he continued to watch the erotic scene in front of him. His eyes flitted up just in time to see Wooyoung's heated gaze looking right back at him.

For a moment they locked eyes, Wooyoung never slowing the movement of his hand. The purple haired boy rolled his bottom lip in between his teeth and moaned Hongjoong's name again, this time cumming all over his own hand. His semen circled down the drain inside the stall, as he was coming down.

Hongjoong broke out of his trance and turned to leave. What the hell am I doing?! He thought embarrassed by what had just happened. I just stood there like some pervert and watched Wooyoung jack off... He heard sounds of approaching footsteps and saw a door to the showers open. Before he had to time react he felt a soaked hand grab his wrist and pull him inside the curtains of a stall.