Going Further {on hold}

Chapter Ten: I Don't Need Your Love

In his mind Wooyoung felt like he was slowly falling off the edge with nothing to hold on to. On top of everything else San had started avoiding him. There was something heavy between them in their awkward silences and how San couldn't get away from him fast enough whenever they were alone. He didn't know what had broke between them or how to fix it. He tried his best to pretend like he was okay with it but it hurt that his best friend was putting distance between them. Without him or Hongjoong he felt as though there wasn't anyone left that he could talk to.

This made him go off the deep end...

It all came to a head one Friday afternoon at the recording studio. Everything was going smoothly and it looked like the group would finish the song in record time. Hongjoong and Mingi were hitting their bars with ease and when all the vocalists sang they delivered the lyrics with all the power and emotion the group was known for.

Wooyoung knew he was struggling though. The lack of sleep and his heavy drinking had finally caught up to him and his voice cracked for the third time that day.

"Let's take it from the top one more time," Mingi said from the other side of the glass. He pushed his round glasses up the bridge of his nose as he looked up from the sheet music. "It's only a couple lines Wooyoung-ah you should've already nailed this."

"I know Mingi!" Wooyoung snapped. Everyone looked surprised at his outburst and Mingi looked a bit hurt. Realizing how harsh he sounded Wooyoung took a steadying breath and scrunched his eyes shut. "Sorry I'll try and get it this time."

San had already exited after completing his parts with some excuse falling from his lips so no one would question his absence. The remaining members sat together on the leather couch or in chairs watching on. Hongjoong looked over Wooyoung's haggard appearance and felt guilt fester in his stomach.

His team mate looked exhausted and his eyes were clouded over with some dark emotion. He never saw Wooyoung behave like this and worried that his health was in decline. He noticed the liquor bottles that the younger boy had snuck into the outside bin at night so no one would raise concerns. He decided that he needed to make it right and resolved to tell Seonghwa just that.

I can't just pretend that nothing happened between us anymore, Hongjoong thought sadly. Those nights he laid next to Wooyoung spent and sweaty in his arms were very real to him. The feelings that had begun to bud in his heart for him were very real too. Just as real as what he shared with Seonghwa... He glanced over at his boyfriend who sat watching on as Wooyoung fumbled with his lines yet again.

"Do you want to take a little break Wooyoung?" Mingi asked him after he completely blanked on a few words.

Wooyoung clenched his jaw and glared at the older boy through the glass. "I can do this Mingi. I can do it all on my own."

Everyone shifted uncomfortably at the tension that filled the room. No one wanted to tell him that they were running out of time and could be put behind because he couldn't stay focused.

"Do you know what the hell is up with Wooyoung lately?" Yeosang whispered to Jongho who was staring at his phone during the whole exchange.

"Nope." He responded never looking up from his screen. The youngest of the group tried to pretend that everything was fine even when it clearly wasn't. He could tell everyone else was becoming restless and the truth was eating away at him. With their tour right around the corner a fight like this couldn't happen at a worse time. This is not good. Things have only gotten worse...

"Fuck!" Wooyoung cursed loudly and threw his headphones to the floor. Mingi groaned exasperated and leaned back in his chair.

Yunho crossed his arms while studying Wooyoung and the way he paced in the booth like an animal in a cage. "We're not going to get this today Woo..."