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changkyun looked at the note book in his hands with confusion. he'd never thought that his past self would write. luckily it wasn't locked too and so he curiously opened it. he felt like the person who wrote this wasn't him.

like hisnpast self never existed. he was scared. scared what would happen when his memories came back. changkyun noticed that he started overthinking again and so he turned to the first page of the note book and started reading.

dear diary,

i don't know how and where to start honestly. i just decided to write down some thoughts because maybe it's helping me a little bit. my head literally feels like it's gonna explode so maybe writing down everything releases me somehow.

changkyun couldn't help but smile at these few sentences. that was exactly how he was feeling right now. he went on reading.

so there is this guy in my class i have a crush on and he is unfortunately also my best friend. i don't know how or when but those feelings just overcame me. i feel bad for it though, he doesn't know about it and i won't tell him either. but i think he noticed that i'm behaving differently around him. he did ask me about it but i said it was nothing. i don't know what to do anymore. why camt i be normal like everyone else around me? why is it always me who is different? i wish i could make it undone.

that's for now, bye

changkyun's bottom lip was shaking and when he touched his cheeks they were wet. he didn't notice that he started crying. it was like something in his deepest inner got attached to those words.

it was pain but it didn't reach changkyun. not yet. now he knew what was coming up when he would remember.

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