<P class=MsoNormal>A week later </P>
<P class=MsoNormal>I hadn't spoken since I found out about my mothers death my dad was getting worried and told Kelly to take me and my sisters out for a girly shopping spree but I really wasn't in the mood nor where my twin sisters. This whole thing had pushed the family apart and it wasn't fair on Kelly as she was heavily pregnant and dont need the stress. I sat in my room just staring at my picture of me and my mum I sighed remembering this was the week we found out about her addiction to sleeping tablets looking back on it now I realise she must have had depression I mean dad was leaving her she just lost her job and she was far away from her family in brazil. I placed the picture on my night stand and a picture of me and Jermaine court my eye I still hadn't told him I was pregnant and my bump was starting to show now. Why did it have to be this way I still hadn't cried about my mum yet and I couldn't bring my self to fully believe that my mamma was really gone for good. </P>
<P class=MsoNormal>The walls of my room started to close in on me I needed to get out of here. Slipping into my pumps I grabbed my keys and walked out the house. it was in Saturday afternoon and as usual most people were standing out side gossiping with each other catching the sun rays. I watched past them quickly avoiding there stupid questions asking if im ok. </P>
<P class=MsoNormal>I reached the hills by the park and sat down on the grass that over looked a lake it was so peaceful and quiet up here it just gave me time to think about life. I rubbed my belly closing my eyes there was something growing inside of me it's a part of me I can't just kill a living been well apart from Jha'nella but that's different she's not my child. I stared down at the beautiful flowing lake in haling the smell of fresh grass and daffodils. All of a sudden I just bursted into tears everything from my break up to my mum dying had just really got to me all this was too over whelming . My mamma was dead she fucking left me when I needed her the most im gonna have a baby and she's not even here to see I just wont my mamma back. I sat hugging my knees just crying I didn't care I had to let it out I felt a presence sit beside me and take me into there arms.</P>
<P class=MsoNormal>Dad: its ok baby just let it out ok he rubbed my arms and cradled me like a baby. I felt his tears drop on to my head we both sat there and just cried letting it all out I clutched on to my dad and buried my head into his warm sweet smelling body I felt so safe in my dads arms like he was protecting me from the big bad world just like he always use to before I grow up and spent less time at home and more with the mandem.</P>
<P class=MsoNormal>Me: I miss her so much daddy it feels like im empty inside she's left me dad how can you just be there one minute and then gone the next! The more I thought about it the more angry I got but still my heart ached and my tears still flowed down my face. My dad shook his head and pulled away from me looking into my eyes.</P>
<P class=MsoNormal>Dad: don't be mad Ez she loved you some times these thing happen ok she loved you but you know every one has there problems you know that baby girl. He kissed my forehead and got up. </P>
<P class=MsoNormal>Dad: im gonna leave you baby ok I nodded forcing a smile he took a minute and looked at me </P>
<P class=MsoNormal>Dad: you do know your always be daddies favourite little girl right always he bent down and kissed my forehead again and walked off taking his keys out his pocket. I watched until he was out of sight. Him saying that put a genuine smile on my face. sighing my mind drifted back to my mamma. </P>
<P class=MsoNormal>me: i just wont you back i sighed rubbing my small bump crying</P>
<P class=MsoNormal>me: please come back mamma! </P>
