I woke up to find my self laying on my bed with Jermaine next to me stroking my damp face lightly smiling I looked up at him almost shocked.
Me: I thought you had to go you know with Jha’nella and every thing? He shook his head still stroking my face
Jermaine: nah I thought I’d stay with you I mean you was out cold for a whol….his phone buzzed causing him to stop and answer straight away.
Jermaine: what…
He looked at me then diverted his eyes else were and made his way out my room I could hear his deep voice mumbling out side my room but I couldn’t make out any thing.
He walked back into my room looked vex.
Jermaine; look I gotta go yeah but ima bell you later b? I nodded not really sure of what else to say he bent over and kissed my lips softly before going. As soon as I heard my front door shut I got out of bed and put on some decent clothes. I don’t know what it was but I had to see Jha’nella’s baby I mean this child could not make it and it’s the brother to my unborn baby I had to go and at least look at him. I ran to the shops and bought chocolate and some flowers Jermaine had told me she was still recovering in hospital. I got there and saw the nurse sitting behind the desk thing
Me: hi erm can you tell me what room Jha’nella boshay is in please? She typed some thing into her computer and then told me I walked up three flights of stairs and round her room there she was laying on her bed looking weak I felt so bad for her she just looked awful. I knocked lightly on the door and then walked in. she didn’t even look to see who it was she kept her eyes shut but the tears still rolled down her face.
Me: erm I bought you some chocolate I put it in front of her but she turned her head away from me.
Me: look Jha’nella I know you don’t like me but we do have to get along now I mean were gonna be family soon her head snapped my way her dark eyes locked onto mine
Jha’nella: are you fucking retarded family! FUCKING FAMILY! I DON’T WONT TO GET ALONG WITH YOU –YOU FUCKED MY MAN! I was forced down by the pitch of her over whelming below I sat back in the chair as her tears rolled heavily down her face.
Me: im sorry I didn’t mean to upset you I know your going through a fucked up time and im the last person you wont to see but please I just wonted too….
Jha’nella: wonted to what!
Me: see if you was ok-look I don’t won’t to start fucking arguing with you it’s not the time or place I came to see the baby.
Jha’nella: wait a minute how the fuck did you know about my baby and even where to find me! I looked away and she clocked
Jha’nella: oh my god you was with him weren’t you- you was fucking him while my baby is fighting for his life….
Me: that’s not how it was…..
Jha’nella: THEN HOW WAS IT THEN HUH WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE COME TO RUB IT IN MY FACE HAVE YOU!
Me: no!....I just wont to see him ok I love Jermaine and were working things out im having his child too look I pulled out the picture of my child and showed it to her she dragged the picture off me and I watched her rip it up into little pieces. I felt a rush of rage take over my body but I had to swallow it down and keep my cool.
Jha’nella: get the fuck out right now she said through gritted teeth I stood up and made my way to the door slowly
Jha’nella: oh before you go…. I turned around to face her and she spat after me causing me to jump back
Jha’nella: that’s what I think of you and your baby now get out! I walked out slamming the door behind me. I walked along the corridor with my heart racing I just wonted to slam her head into a wall and break every fucking bone in her body I’ve just lost my mum I didn’t need to put up with her shit stupid cow. I made my way out the hospital and saw Jermaine just getting out his car I tried to dodgy from his eye sight but he spotted me straight away the look on his face was a picture. He bopped towards me and grabbed my arm slamming me against the wall.
Me: Jermaine please your hurting me! I whined trying to set my self free.
Jermaine: what did you say to her!
Me: nothing I swear his grip on my arm got tighter then he let go kissing his teeth after me he walked away into the hospital leaving me just standing there. What have I gone a done now I sighed walking away to the bus stop.
At home
I was sat on the counter in my kitchen eating cookie dough ice cream while Lara had her head in my lap she hadn’t spoken since mamma died while Yaritza just stayed out a lot.
Me: its ok if you wonna cry Lara we can go up stairs yeah? She lifted up her head and nodded
We sat on my bed curled up watching bami mamma loved this film and used to make us watch it over and over again I really don’t know why though. Lara cried all the way though it were as I just felt numb again.
Lara: I don’t understand mia she was fine when I saw her she was getting better she remember me she said my name she-she told me she….she didn’t finish her sentence she just whaled out loud I could feel her pain but I could express it my door opened and kazello walked in with a box of tissues his bright green eyes looked dull he sat down on my bed and curled up beside me wrapping his arms around myself and Lara. I was shocked this was the first time in years that my brother had showed and affection towards us he kissed the top of my head and we stayed like that for hours.
I woke up to see out side was pitch black out side and kazello and lara had left making my bed feel cold and empty it was so weird having them around me like that usually we don’t even speak…. my phone range out I picked it up and saw a text.
Jermaine
Come to mine
I got dressed into my pink dress and flats and made my way to his. The orange lamps shined down on the path as I walked it was so breezy I rubbed my arms and knocked his door.
Jermaine: get in here now I stepped past him avoiding eye contact I walked into the front room to find his friends sitting down watching porn I felt sick why couldn’t they do that at there yard in there room or what ever! I said hello to them and sat down next to my cousin tricky don’t ask me why his called tricky I think its dumb too!
Jermaine: did I tell you to sit down get up stairs we got things to talk about. Every one looked at me as I got up and walked over to the door.
Jermaine: ay don’t be looking at my chick like dat! He warmed them all they looked away from me and watched the girl get fucked out differently.
When we got to the bed room Jermaine slapped me hard across the face. I stumbled trying to catch my balance
Jermaine: don’t lie to me Ezmia! I looked at him stunned he hadn’t even asked me any thing but yet his slapping me for “lying”
Me: what?!
Jermaine: you see you yeah you don’t listen do you what did I tell you when we got back together! I shook my head only to receive another back hander across the face coursing me to yelp out in pain.
Jermaine: I fucking told you to leave Jha’nella I said I’d tell her after the baby was fucking ok but what did you go and do huh WHAT DID YOU FUCKING DO!!
The look on his face told me I was going to regret going to see Jha’nella. I shook my head moving away from him slowly.
Jermaine: I told you to stop playing games didn’t I huh I told you to be a good girl but you don’t wont to listen you just wont it your way well in going to teach you some thing....he grabbed hold of my hair we I could look into his red eyes
Jermaine: don’t ever fuck with me Ezmia!...... BAM!!!
