5months later
I had given birth to a baby boy I named him Faybian Dwayne lynch (Jermaine's last name) since his been born Jermaine's had fuck all to do with him I've tried calling him and texting but he just doesn't seem to be interested. I would like to say I don't really give a shit but I do I thought once the baby was born he'd change he'd be there for me and Fay to surrport us to-to love us unconditionally and if not me then Faybian its just not fair on him at all his just a baby whats he done wrong!
Dad: Ez go to the shop for me?
Me: r dad I've got Fay send one of the girls or you go!
Dad: Ezmia don't make me have to ask you again!
Me: kmt I snatched the money and list out his hand put Faybian in his pram and slammed the front door behind me.As soon as I stepped out side the heat slapped me in my face it was boiling out side I backed off my jacket just living my belly top that read "can I suck your lollipop please" I buttoned up my high waisted dark wash denim shorts tightened my high bun and ruffled my front fringe. I was so nerves for some reason this was officially the first time I'd actually step foot out side since having Faybian! My belly did a summersaults as people that I walked past looked at me they probably through "hmm single black mother, god look how she's dressed what a slag, poor baby" I could feel there judgement my hands gripped tighter around Faybian's pram and I walked a little faster to the shops avoiding eye contact with people. I could hear him making little baby babbling sounds and it made me smile. As I got closer to the shop I spotted a group of guys standing out side the chicken shop there was a girl with them but I couldn't see who as she was lipsin up one of the guys as I got closer there heads looked my way. I looked down at Faybian to check he was ok to find him dribbling on his hand he looked so much like me it was weird I smiled down at him and moved his curly hair out his face.
Guy: EZMIA! My head snapped up causing me to jump I recognised the voice but the face wasn't there I shook my head thinking I was hearing things and carried on into the shop
Guy: Ezmia don't you hear man calling you! I turned around to find Elliot standing in front of me I was in shock I hadn't seen him in months. I guess my emotions got the better of me because I just broke down in his arms
Elliot: aww baby whats wrong he asked rubbing my back.
Me: nothing its nothing im just happy to flipping see you I looked into his eyes then hugged him tighter.
Elliot: aww baby he kissed my forehead then we let go of each other
Elliot: wow look at little man doe his gone big star!
Me: I know looks more like his mummy every day init I beamed Elliot laughed and nodded stroking his fat round cheek
Elliot: shit man Ezmia his bah cute I just can't believe it you're a mum my babies had a baby! He looked at me with glinting eyes and for a split second I could have sworn I saw tears.
Elliot: so erm any ways you see Jermaine n his new wifey out side?
Me: what?!
Elliot: Jermaine n his new wifey I fort you saw th....I didn't give him time to finish I pushed the pram back out side to find some bitch in Jermaine's arms I pushed Faybian right up to were he was standing and they all looked at me almost surprised
Me: so Jermaine meet your son!
Girl: who's this jem! She narrowed her dolly eyes at me like say she had the right
Me: don't be looking at me like that I wont hesitate to spark you baby or know baby! She looked away kissing her teeth after me.
Me: kmt...so what Jermaine you cant even look at your son!
Jermaine: go away man why you always bothering man for!
Me: are you taking the piss this is your son your blood your first fucking child and you cant even look at him?
He scratched his head looking away from me then looked down at are son and smiled a true bright smile.
Jermaine: oh he-he looks just like you Ez with a bit of me still he looked back up at me
Jermaine: can man hold him just for a second I nodded and watched as he picked him up and held him so gently in his arms his boys watched and soon came over to look at him too. They were getting so gassed over my baby but it still felt night to know that he cared about him. Jermaine handed Faybian back to me and kissed him on the forehead.
Jermaine: look im so sorry for not being there for him man was just shook to get close to him after what happened with my other son I just couldn't risk going through the pain of loosing a baby again you get me but mans gonna be there from now on yeah I promise the both of you that yeah just give me a chance Ez?! I looked into his eyes and saw he was sincere. I just nodded my head.
Jermaine: kool then
Girl: Jermaine baby he looked at her then nodded
Jermaine: oh erm Ez this is the wifey Chardine
I looked her up and down she was light skin black looked a bit like that black chyna women with long natural hair she was actually pretty but I don't like her she seems like one of them girls that walk around like there shit don't stink!
Me: hmm Skeen
Chardine: don't Skeen me you fucking beg after I was nice enough to smile! I looked her up and down again and flat out laughed in her face
Me: me a beg are babe get a life! I turned around and pushed the pram back in the shops where Elliot was flowering up some mix race girl at the counter I thought I would ruin it he- he im so evil.
Me: babe who's this he looked at me like "what the fuck you doing"
Me: oh my god Elliot your in hear chatting up some girl while im holding your baby! The girl looked at me then him with wide eyes.
Me: how could you do this to me again! I started to pretend to cry
Elliot: aww come on babe I don't even know this girl she's mad!
Girl: hmm sure you prick delete my number from your from
Elliot: are see what you did Ezmia!
Girl: WHAT I thought you said you didn't know her kmt! She slapped him hard across the face and stormed out the shops. The way I started creasing was just too much I could barley stand you should have seen the look on his face poor guy.
Elliot: kmt Ezmia that was just poor man how you gonna do a brother like that she gives good head you know! I stopped laughing and looked at him feeling disgusted I slapped him across the head
Elliot: ouch Man jheeze!
We made are way around the shops talking while I picked up what my dad had asked me for paid then elliot walked me home.
Me: aww Elle I've missed you and the others
Elliot: trust we've missed you to man its like your never about no more it ent the same were not the same. We stopped out side my door
Me: I know im sorry its just its hard with Faybian I cant get out as much as I'd like and im always tired I wouldn't be much fun with a screaming baby in my arms as you staid today ell your babies a mum now ha-ha I rubbed my neck feeling odd saying that. Elliot took my hand off my neck and held it in his warm soft one
Elliot: you know im always here for you Ezmia you're my best friend you don't have to be tired I can be there for you too you know! He looked me dead in the eyes as he said it I felt weird again.
Me: thanks I was about to turn away when he stopped me placing his hand on my cheek
Elliot: no Ez you don't get what im sayin I wont to be there for you and Faybian I wonna be there day n night I wonna be there to rub your feet when your tired hold you when your weak me Ez I wont to be with you I wonna be there for you like that Lowe the friendship man wonts a relationship! I stood there looking into his eyes feeling weak I really didn't know what to say WHAT THE FUCK DO I SAY?????
