[chap.26]

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Chapter Twenty-Six: If You Love Her...
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||Severus||

Once I woke up, I felt very reluctant about getting out of bed. I wanted to stay here with her, possibly forever. But as I've said before, I don't have forever because there's reality to face. I hate reality. I love the perfect and intimate universe only consisting of Lily, and me, and sometimes her baby snoozing in the background.

I relax once more, drinking in the fact that it is Saturday. I have a whole day to spend with her; whether it's her attacking me once more with snowballs, or kissing with the aroma of wafting hot chocolate. Either way was great.

I closed my eyes and buried my nose into her hair, taking in the lovely scent. Everything would've been fine if the bloody sun just stopped blaring into the room.

Hell. There's no reason in trying to sleep again.

I groan quietly, and get out of bed without making too much noise so that I don't wake her. She sleeps like an angel, with soft humming snores that make you smile because she's so adorable.

And for once I don't need to tell myself to snap back to reality, because this really is real. It's actually happened. I've touched her, I've kissed her, I've gained her trust. Maybe I've earned more.

I leave her room, and slip into my winter boots from yesterday, grab my coat and drape it over my arm. Then I silently open the door to her quarters, slip out, and silently close it behind me.

"Severus?"

Damn.

I turn around and McGonagall is there in the hallway, staring at me quizzically. She has an eyebrow shot up in the air, questioning why I had been in Lily's room.

Damn.

"Minerva, good morning." I said coolly, straightening up my back and trying to keep calm.

"You had a good night?" She snapped, giving me a pointed look.

"It was...okay."

"Severus dear, you mustn't be trying anything with Lily."

I was stunned by what she was saying, but the worst part was how guilty I looked. She knew she was right, there's no denying it.

"I haven't an idea of what you are going on about" I sneered at her.

"She's a widow you know."

Sometimes I forget that Lily was a widow. All I see her as now, is mine. That's incredibly selfish, but it's true.

I cocked an eyebrow and remained solemn, despite my words getting lost on my tongue. She gave one last look, as if daring to oppose her on the matter, before walking away.

Her statements really turned my mood foul, and I'm not looking forward for whatever this day might offer. I could already tell, by the sudden gloom in the air that it will be bad.

//

A few hours later, I'm sitting in my room and sulking and self-loathing. Why? Because everything McGonagall said was true. Lily's a widow, and she won't be able to love anyone for a very long time. That's pushing me away, and my affection for her.

Someone knocks at my door. I assume it's Lily, so I answer. Instead it's a student, and I sneer unpleasantly down at him.

"What?!" I snap.

"Professor Dumbledore said he wanted to see you sir."

"Very well then," I grumbled quietly, and shut the door on him.

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