Stealing Kisses

Chapter 19

Faith POV: 

I serve Jake up eggs, while my cellphone continues to blow up. I ignore it, knowing it's probably Tim on Rob's phone. Jake pushes his eggs around, likely about to throw a fit about how he'd rather have waffles for breakfast. I grab my smoothie from the fridge, shaking it as I watch my phone go off once more. I grab it, feeling my frustration boil over. 

"Hello?" I answer, about to snap.

"Hey Baby." Dan lets out over the phone, making me take a deep breath as I rub my forehead. 

"Hey... sorry, I thought you were--" I begin, before he cuts me off. 

"Honey, something happened last night." He says, making me pause. 

"What are you talking about?" I say, feeling my chest ache. My mind runs wild, as I immediately start thinking about him having an affair. 

"I was driving to the airport this morning, and I came across a really bad accident on I-65..." He starts, before clearing his throat. "I stopped to make sure everyone was okay, and uh..." He stumbles around, before taking a deep breath. "Tim was in one of the cars." He releases, making my stomach drop. I open my mouth to start asking questions, but nothing comes out. 

"Is he..." I start, before feeling a little lightheaded. "Is he de--" I choke on my own words, feeling my hands start to shake. 

"He's in the hospital. I've been here for the past half-hour trying to let them know what happened." He answers vaguely. I look at Jake, before nodding, trying to find the ability to speak once more. 

"What happened?" I ask, my heart pounding so hard, it's deafening. Dan sighs before clearing his throat. 

"I called Claire. She's coming over to watch Jake, and then you should come to the hospital." He says, making me fall apart. I cover my mouth to keep Jake from hearing my sobs, but it's hard to contain it. Dan can hear me crying from the other end of the phone. "I think it's important that you come." He lets out, making my chest crush. 

The elevator chimes on the ICU floor, the doors opening to a hallway full of chaos and alarms. Doctors swarm a bed that is rushing down the hall toward an operating room. Everyone on this floor looks like they're one heartbeat away from death. I look around for the room number Dan told me over the phone, but I was so distraught, I'm struggling to remember if he was in room 1005 or 1015... I stagger toward 1005, hesitating in order to buy more time for my sanity. I peek in the small window in the door, seeing a man with a breathing tube jammed down his throat. He looks nothing like Tim. His hair is black, his skin is pale, and his eyes aren't the same warm shade as Tim's. I turn around and search for room 1015. 

"Faith..." Dan calls, coming out of room 1005. I turn around and lock eyes with him, feeling my knees go weak at the sight of blood coating his white dress shirt. He takes a few steps toward me, while I take a few toward him, wrapping my arms tightly around him. He feels tense, his stress emanating in a suffocating breath. "He's in really bad shape." He says quietly, before looking toward the door. "I didn't want him to..." He starts, before shutting his eyes. I know what he wants to say, but I don't think either of us could bear to hear it. 

He didn't want him to die alone... 

He motions to the door, causing me to stagger toward the door. I cautiously walk in front of him into the room, feeling his hand rest on my back as I begin to hesitate once more. The breathing machine is deafening. Dan walks around me, sitting down in a chair beside the bed. He watches me, before looking at the empty seat beside him. I sit down gently, watching Tim's eyes follow me. 

"I don't know what to say." I whisper to Dan, feeling him squeeze my hand. 

"You don't have to say anything." He replies in a soft voice, while I nod. I look at all the wires attached to him, feeling sick to my stomach. I watch his blood pressure closely. 

I stare at my vital signs on the screen, feeling butterflies in my stomach as I try not to get excited again. A new gynecologist walks in, since mine is out on vacation. The nurse wraps up her initial tests, while the doctor sits down, sifting through my paperwork. 

"It says here that you had a miscarriage?" She questions, while I nod, rubbing my clammy hands on the pink hospital gown they gave me. 

"About eight months ago." I elaborate, taking a deep breath. She nods in response, before pulling out a CT scan and studying it. She quietly slips it back in my file before looking at me with a gentle expression. 

"Mrs McGraw, you're not pregnant." She releases, making my heart sink. I nod slowly, forcing myself to swallow my emotion. "Your positive test and symptoms were likely a result of UTI, actually." She says quietly. I lean my head back, feeling a little bit of relief with the fact I hadn't told Tim about the test. 

"Well, alright then." I let out, starting to slide off of the exam table. 

"Mrs. McGraw, I see in your file that you were attacked a few years ago..." She brings up, making me wince slightly. 

"I was stabbed thirteen times." I reply, my chest growing tight. She nods while clearing her throat. 

"Faith, you can no longer conceive children after that trauma." She says, making my skin grow cold. I stare at her, unable to process what she's said. 

"That's... Dr Johnson said that we... we would be able to..." I release, feeling my throat grow tight. 

"You can maybe get pregnant, but there is no possible way you could carry to term." She says, as my ears start to throb. "One of the wounds struck your uterus, and did a significant amount of damage that is irreparable. There's no feasible way that you could carry a child anywhere close to term with that amount of damage." She continues, while my eyes cloud with tears. 

"Is there some kind of test we could do to see if--" I begin before she interrupts me. 

"Mrs McGraw, I know this is a hard pill to swallow, but I'm absolutely certain in this. I can even show you where the doctors at the hospital said that you would not be able to have more children. There's even a note on your miscarriage hospitalization which cites this as the cause." She says, as I feel my hands shake. "I don't know why Dr. Johnson hasn't told you this, but I think it's important that you know before going through another miscarriage." She releases, as I rub my forehead. I stare for a moment, trying to understand exactly what she's trying to tell me. 

"Alright..." I release, feeling light-headed. Suddenly it all hits me, causing me to rush out of the room. 

"Mrs. McGraw!" She calls, as I dive into the bathroom down the hall, locking the door behind me. I grab my chest, feeling it pound as I try to catch my breath. I wheeze, resting one hand on the sink as I try to find a way to calm down. I catch a glimpse of myself, seeing tears rushing down my face as I pant. One of my scars catches my eyes, making me crumble. 

I jump a little, causing Dan to look my way. He lets it go, figuring it was nothing but a chill. I look toward Tim, noticing his eyes following me. He must've seen it, or else he can tell I just saw something. I look down at his hand, feeling something drive me to hold it. I know Dan would feel uncomfortable if I did, so I sit back in the chair and hold my breath.