Stealing Kisses

Chapter 21

Faith POV: 

I sit back in my chair, staring at my fingertips. I can't get the sight of him seizing out of my head. It's weird seeing the parts that aren't as rosy as I assumed they'd be. I lean my head back, praying Dan comes soon to keep my mind off the thought. 

His blood pressure starts to plummet, making my heart sink. His eyes appear terrified, as I look around for someone who knows how to handle this. I reach out for his hand again, feeling cautious in doing so. Our fingers interlock without event, filling me with a brief feeling of relief. He looks into my eyes, squeezing my hand tightly, before a metal cart rolls in the room. 

I sit across from him, looking around the cramped so-called apartment he's assigned to. He can't take his eyes off me, smiling like a fool. My heart aches in the most painful way, as I watch his hands shake worse than I've ever seen. I stare at them, before looking into his eyes. 

"How are the girls?" He asks, as I try to plan out my words. I can't tell him that they're hardly buying the "Dad's on tour" excuse. I can't say that Gracie is losing her mind without him there. 

"They're good." I say vaguely, feeling the metal table rattle. I apply more weight onto my elbows, trying to make the sound of the metal shaking cease. Now, the shaking is channeled right through me, making me nauseous. He nods with his sideways smile. 

"Good. I miss them like crazy." He says, unable to even hold his head steady. I force a smile, before realizing I can't keep this up for much longer. 

"How's treatment going?" I question, as he looks away for the first time since I walked in. 

"It's really good." He says, although it's a lie. I study him, feeling hollow. 

"Babe... I talked to your doctor." I start, watching him nod. "He said that, um..." I look down at my lap. "He said that your condition has gotten worse." I pipe out, feeling my eyes start to well up. His smile fades, while his shaking grows.

"I wouldn't say it's gotten worse." He replies, before noticing my sadness. "Faith, I'm doing all the exercises..." He tries to reassure me, while I nod. 

"I know." I let out, as he grabs my hand. A numb feeling comes over me as I try to swallow the knot in my throat. "They don't want me to come visit anymore." I spit out, watching him wince. His breathing grows uneven, as he shakes his head repeatedly. 

"No... Faith..." He tries to argue. 

"I think they're probably right." I continue, as he shuts his eyes. 

"Babe, please..." He begs, gutting me as I try not to break down. 

"I need you to focus on getting better. I can't keep distracting you from that." I run on, trying to breathe as I feel a tear rush down my cheek. He continues to shake his head, clasping tightly to my hand. "I love you so much, but you need to get better for yourself and the girls. I'm going to do whatever it takes to help you, so I need you to do the same, alright?" I let out, while he leans back in his chair, blown away by everything I've said. 

"Baby, please don't..." He says, as I stand, feeling unable to stay in the room. I start to collect my things, watching him grow hysterical. "Faith, please..." He releases.

"I love you." I say, before walking to the door. 

"Faith..." He calls, before I open it and start to walk out. The nurse locks the door behind me, keeping him in there. I wince, as I hear him scream. "Faith! Baby, please... Please come back..." He pleads, winding me. I rush out of the building, getting into my car. I begin to scream the moment I shut the door. 

I shake off the sight, as he stares at the cart. A nurse comes over and pumps something into his IV, before looking through his vitals. He glances my way, as I think about how desperate he was to have me there. I squeeze his hand in reassurance, before clearing my throat, feeling my eyes surprisingly well up. 

Dan comes back in, causing me to slip my hand out of Tim's. Dan slides a coffee in my hand, but I feel like I'm on edge enough as is. I set it down on the end table, before feeling the air in the room grow suffocating. I tap my foot, before standing up, unable to bear it any longer. 

"I'm going to go grab a snack." I spit out, before rushing out. I rush down the hall, before finding a smoking balcony. I run outside, before leaning against the railing and struggling to catch my breath. I grip onto the cool metal before looking out onto the skyline. 

He lies in a hospital bed, staring out the window at the Nashville skyline, wincing every time he hears someone pass near the room. Something tells him the next doctor to enter the room will be the one that informs him I'm dead. He twists his wedding band nervously, as the bandage on his forehead shows blood through it. His arm is bruised, but surprisingly not broken. His concussion is the only thing keeping him tied to the hospital bed. He hears the sliding glass door open, causing him to shut his eyes tightly. 

"Mr. McGraw..." The doctor pipes out, as tears start to stream down Tim's face. He was preparing to hear the words, but that doesn't mean he wanted them. He slowly sits up, turning toward the doctor. He doesn't know it, but the doctor had to change his scrubs after dealing with my injuries in order to talk with him. His bare hands are still somewhat bloodstained after things went awry in the operating room, and he had to desperately apply bandaging or I'd bleed out on the table. "She's..." The doctor stops, his extreme fatigue from operating on me for fourteen hours straight starting to catch up to him. "She is in the ICU still. We aren't sure..." He stops himself again, staring down at the bed. He won't tell Tim, but the moments in the OR were the scariest moments of his career. He won't tell him, but he saved my life six times over the course of the night. He won't say it, but he performed CPR for forty-five minutes trying to save me. 

"She's going to die, right?" Tim pipes out, wanting him to say it already. The doctor's eyes well up, as he pulls up a chair. His sneakers are splattered with blood, but luckily Tim never notices. 

"Her heart stopped beating multiple times during surgery." He admits, before taking a deep breath. "We have done everything in our power to save her." He continues, as Tim starts to crumble. "She's still here, but she's in bad shape." He lets out, before clearing his throat. "She wasn't breathing for a really long time, Tim." He adds, before starting to get choked up himself. "I tried everything... I just want you to know we haven't given up on her yet." He says. 

Tim immediately thinks of Maggie. He thinks of her upcoming senior prom and how I won't be there to help her get ready. He thinks of Gracie's wedding, and how I won't be there to pick her dress. He thinks of Aubrey, and how I won't see her go through high school. Then he starts to think about himself...