Smile [Ziall]

22.

I was starting to really like these meetings with Zayn.

Because one, this place-- isolated, creaky wooden bench nestled between rocks and close to the crashing sea-- was the only place that I loved besides my own room (and also maybe the cafeteria because that is where we had met) in and around this whole area.

And two, because as pathetic and desperate as I sound, I like to pretend that we're on a date, my little fantasy, just having our little rendezvous. And it feels like that sometimes.

When Zayn just always says what I want him to say, shocking me, proving to be even more perfect that I thought he was.

And it feels like a date when we both sit here together for hours, our shoulders pressed together as I yearn for him to just cuddle me in his chest but I know that will be a bit tok much.

And when we're both just admiring the sight of the sea, the gulls, the everything.

And when I turn my head around, and meet Zayn's hazel eyes so fervent with emotion, his flawless smile that always tugs at his lips, his perfect hair that the wind always ruffled up-- honestly, a sight way, way more indulging then the one which we admire together.

No awkward silences or gestures, nothing. It's almost always too perfect.

And that scares me, because that serenity, and that sense of camaraderie I experience with Zayn makes me fall for him even harder. I just can't stop it.

But as for Zayn, he still sees me as a friend. Apparently I amuse him, so that's why he likes to hang out with me.

But amusement, admiration... Whatever it is, I'll very, very gladly take it, if it means that Zayn will keep noticing me.

It's false hope, sure, but it sure as hell is better than nothing.

I know it's kinda impossible for something to happen between us.

Zayn is a teacher here and I'm a student. I'm seven years younger than him. Curly wants him and he'll get him. Oh, and did I mention I'm not really normal? Yeah, sucks for me.

I still had no idea what to do with my Zayn-feelings. Louis was cheering me on, always urging me to make a move on Zayn in the riggt moment.

But then there was Harry-Curly, who was looking at Zayn with the same eyes with which I admire him.

And it's pretty obvious who has a better chance to win Zayn's heart between me and Curly.

And that fucking sucks.