Smile [Ziall]

27.

It had been more than a week since I'd seen Zayn.

No, Zayn wasn't avoiding me. It was the other way around actually. Ever since that day when I'd given Zayn the letter and he had been romancing with Curly, I just couldn't face Zayn.

I know I was being stupid and only hurting myself and confusing Zayn, but I can't help it. I'm insecure. I know that Harry is far better than me. He makes Zayn laugh, and he has gotten closer to Zayn than I ever have. Both physically and emotionally.

Curly is better in every way, and Zayn already has him. As a lover, and as a friend. Why would he need me then? As a friend even?

I trust Zayn. I trust Zayn with my secrets. But he is not my boyfriend so I can't help if he falls for someone else. And it's the charismatic Curly who I don't trust. Ugh.

I know Zayn says I fascinate him, just because he wants to make me feel less bad about myself. Special kids perks. But I hate the special treatment.

But somehow, I can't deny that whatever Zayn says he likes about me, never feels like he forces it. He always seems genuine. And I miss that.

God, I miss Zayn so much.

Why am I doing this? Torturing myself? Because I'm an idiot.

I was waiting for Zayn to come apologize to me? Wow, how deluded am I? Why would he even care? I'm just a little kid throwing a tantrum.

Yes, I seem like I'm bipolar, right?

But that's what Zayn Malik does to my teenage hormonal emotions.

I was lying in bed right now, staring at the boring grey ceiling. I was skipping my classes saying I was feeling ill, and thank God that was an easily accepted excuse around here.

Louis had tried to get me out of our room multiple times, but I refused. He even threatened that he'll stop bringing me food-- because that threat always worked-- but not this time.

Louis understood that I would most likely starve myself, so he did bring me food like the sweet lad he is.

I hated this. I hated worrying Louis and Liam. I hated worrying Zayn... who knows if he did actually worry about me. I was too scared to ask Louis to tell me, and neither did he inform me on any Zayn-news.

Louis was actually not talking to me since then, saying that I was being stupid, letting my insecurities get to me and not standing up for myself.

But I'm sorry Louis. I'm sorry that I'm not as confident as you are.

• • •

I slowly woke up as someone was shaking me softly. I cracked my eyes open to be met with a frowning Louis.

I sat up straight in bed. That was the first time in three days Louis had looked me in the eye.

He is worried about you, Louis signed.

My frown deepened. Louis rolled his eyes.

Zayn! He's worried sick about you! He always looked to our table everyday, but would then mope around when you weren't there! Louis signed, his eyes hard as he stared at me disapprovingly.

I doubt it! He doesn't care. I didn't come out of here for a week and he didn't care. Why would he? I signed bitterly as I harshly bit on my lower lip.

Louis threw is hands up in exasperation.

Enough of this self pity! Zayn likes you, okay?! He actually sees the good in you and doesn't see you as a kid. Open your eyes Niall! Louis signed, and then threw a folded paper in my lap.

I frowned in confusion as I unfolded the notebook paper, my heart threatening to leap out of my chest as my eyes took in the vaguely familiar penmanship.

I looked back up at my best friend for an explanation.

That's the letter Zayn gave to me to give you. Said it'll explain everything, Louis signed, his eyes turning soft. I looked down and read a few lines from Zayn's letter, my eyes already watering because of this perfect man.

Why was I so fucking stupid as to try to push him away just because of a misconception and my insecurity?

You're a really amazing guy, Niall. And Zayn sees that too. He is a gem. And something can happen between you guys. Don't push him away because of your insecurities. Don't think like a teenager here, Louis told me what I wanted to hear, and I nodded in agreement, as Louis sat down next to me and hugged me.

I'm sorry, I mouthed, sniffling. Louis smiled softly as he wiped my tears.

Don't apologize to me, apologize to the guy who is worried sick about you and doesn't even know why he is so worried about the adorable shy guy, Louis signed, then tutted like an old wise man observing young love.

And I forgive you, by the way. I was mad at you for not seeing how much you need Zayn in your life and stupidly pushing him away. Took you nine days, but I'm so happy you finally figured it out, Louis signed, then kissed me on the cheek.

I smiled, my heart feeling whole again as I had my best friend back.

You'll be joining me and Li at lunch tomorrow? Louis asked hopefully, and I nodded firmly. Definitely. I wasn't going to make the mistake of ignoring Zayn again. Not ever.

As Louis then skipped outside to probably annoy Liam in his own room, I started to read and re-read Zayn Malik's letter to me, my smile hurting my cheeks.

[zayn's letter aka zayn's pov is the next one :D]