INSANE

Chapter 13 - I didn't mean to

There is something about him. There has to be ... something about him that makes me feel like I crave him, like I need him in my life, which sounds ridiculous seeing the situation I am in right now. Me, being the 'innocent' girl who has been kidnapped by a crazy smoking hot dude, something you don't hear every day for sure. I can feel him, every time he is near, every little thing he does, just to get my attention. He wants me to surrender. He wants me to let go of my ego and just admit that I do want him back. I do. But it's insane ... how? How do I let go of this feeling that keeps bugging me every time I try to ignore him? The way he moves closer to me, with every single inch, he stept forward, being so close to me now that our foreheads are touching. Hearing him breath so heavily. Lust. That's what it is right now. Imagine that scene from Titanic, in the car. Before the crash. Rose and Jack making love, the steam in the air. That's how the air got into the bathroom. He is looking into my eyes, trying to reach mine. I try my best not to look back but it's hard... the pressure... his hand now grabbing me by my waist, pulling me closer to him. I can already feel those goosebumps. His hand moving up and down my back, slowly, gently. He is gentle, very. I am hardly breathing, cannot focus on anything but the feeling of his skin touching line. With the other hand, he grabs my face, slowly moving his thumb on my cheek, caressing it. I lean my face on his palm, moving my hand towards his lips and touch them with my fingers. In that moment I wasn't thinking no more. my body was thinking for me. Even my heart was shocked at this point. His lips are so soft, just...perfect.

Tell me how you feel right now...and be honest, don't hide... never hide from me ..

How do I feel.. same question I have been asking myself for the past 5 minutes that I have been leaning against the wall, with his body pressed on mine. Both of us trying to catch our breath while losing ourselves into this bloody mess that I have no clue how we got here. 

Surrender, that's what he wants from me. To be his. Control, he wants control. That's what he is made of. Nothing in this world is more important for him that himself, power and control. Or am I wrong? Am I wrong for thinking of how I could press my lips against his and for a moment, just a little second, forget who he is, forget who I am. Forget us, the world and who ever wants to comment and just, feel. Feel the taste of his lips on mine. Act like he actually cares, just to make me feel better ... and that's exactly what I do. I loose myself in this world where I act like he cares and he is someone else, someone gentle and with feelings who doesn't just scream and punch. No, that's not him, wake up and see that. What are you doing? Who are you lying to? Why am I here with him like this? All of these thoughts popped up in my head, together with all of the things that he can do to me and that I can enjoy. Him kissing my forehead, down to my cheek, back to my forehead, now taking me and stepping backwards to the shower, me just following like a little marionette .. 

Jason .. your clothes .. we can't.. they are going to get all wet ..

Don't ... I don't care about them clothes .. just feel me ..