Barking up the Wrong Tree - An Object "Fanfiction"

Interlude A

The following is an excerpt from The Complete Encyclopedia, Volume IV: Object History.

Chapter 18: The Host War

The Host War was one of the most, if not the most important event in history for civilization. Its end marks year 0 of the Liberty Era. It began four years prior, in year 479 of the Corruption Era. The name of the war references the fact that the leaders of nearly every territory involved came from The Great Host. Surprisingly, very few were actually killed; there were only seventeen missing or killed as a result of this war.

Tension between MePhone 4, governmental head of Inamani, and the Numeral Caucus (consisting of Four and X), governmental head of Battalia, had been at an all-time high in the months leading up to the war. It all culminated on December 8th, 479 CE, when X was assassinated. Four declared war on Inamani the next day on live television by issuing a vow to kill MePhone 4.

Four employed the help of Announcer, a previous leader of Battalia, for strategy and logistics, and sent various followers of the Numeral Caucus to Inamani as assassins and spies. Meanwhile, MePhone 4 called upon the people of his city to protect him, while sending soldiers out to attempt to kill Four first.

Several other leaders of various territories learned of the conflict. Grangriss in a Jar, leader of Trocland, announced that he would be sending soldiers to assist with the protection of Inamani on January 18, 480 CE. Meanwhile, despite their leader, Cool Glasses, having disappeared just weeks prior, the people of Fillar threw their support behind Battalia. Other cities joined the war at later times, with the last being Krydstan in support of Four just two months before the war ended.

The fighting that took place was unlike any that had ever happened before. Every party involved was incredibly cautious, resulting in merely two deaths in nearly two years.

On September 30, 483 CE, Grangriss in a Jar, who battled alongside his soldiers, was struck and killed in a skirmish between Trocland and Fillar. Trocland surrendered fourteen days later.

Demoralized, Inamani's defenses weakened dramatically. On December 20, MePhone 4 was shot by Pillow as he was walking out of a theatre.

Battalia had accomplished its goal, and Inamani surrendered on December 23rd. However, just hours after, Announcer betrayed Four and killed him and attempted to take over as ruler of Battalia. However, the public was outraged. Citizens and soldiers alike revolted against him, and the battle between the remainder of Announcer's army and the revolutionaries lasted five days, and was nicknamed the "Battle for Battalia." It also sparked many uprisings in the other cities involved, with over seven rulers of various locations being executed, exiled, or otherwise removed from power. On December 28, Announcer was killed.

Due to the weakened state of all of the cities involved, it was decided that they would merge together into one large pseudocountry, known as the Democratic Republic of Mergerville. On December 31, the Final Peace Treaty was signed, officially ending the war, founding Mergerville, and signifying the beginning of the Liberty Era.

Over time, many objects moved nearer to the center of Mergerville, and its outer regions quickly became neatly empty. Just two months after its creation, Mergerville was functionally the size of a large city, with a population in the hundreds.

[...]

Appendix E

The following is a list of all those killed and missing as a result of the Host War in chronological order:
- X (cause of death; stab wound to the neck)
- Bubble (cause of death; blade of grass)
- Blob (cause of death; splattering)
- Grangriss in a Jar (cause of death; multiple stab wounds)
- Saggy (cause of death; shock)
- Fan (cause of death; gunshot wound)
- MePhone 4 (cause of death; gunshot wound)
- Four (cause of death; stab wound)
- Announcer (cause of death; several blows to the body)
- Controlly (cause of death; fall damage)
- Crayon Box (cause of death; blunt force head trauma)
- Red Crayon (cause of death unknown)
- Big Orange Chicken (cause of death; guillotine)
- Ethan from OI (missing)
- Dora (missing)
- David (missing)
- Counterfeit Coin (missing)