Barking up the Wrong Tree - An Object "Fanfiction"

Chapter 8 - More Stuff Happens

Algodoo Marble flew through the window.

"Wow! I heard my name! Hi tree thing!" Algodoo Marble shrieked.

"You must be Algodoo Marble," muttered Tree, in great pain. The great pain came from his eardrums, which had just experienced what is known in the industry as a bad time.

"Yeah that's me! Hi!" crowed Algodoo Marble. "Hey! I recognize you from the party last night! You were the one who was getting incredibly drunk!"

"You got incredibly drunk?" asked Prince Pill incredulously.

"Shut up," replied Tree. "I'm gonna leave now."

"What! But you just got here!" cried Algodoo Marble. "We can watch marble races!" At this, Prince Pill threw Algodoo Marble out of a different window than the one he had entered through.

"Thank goodness he's gone," muttered Tree. "Anyways, I'm leaving."

Algodoo Marble burst in through the ceiling, yelling unintelligible nonsense, but by this time Tree was out the door.

On the drive back, he realized that he hadn't gotten very much information, since the author is really bad at writing dialogue. The only thing he learned was that Prince Pill was apparently not committing crimes yesterday. Since Tree was only hired to investigate Apple's murder, he didn't care in the slightest about any crimes he committed not-yesterday, nor the crimes he committed that weren't Apple's murder. Of course, he was probably lying, but Tree would think about that later.

Right now, though, he had several other suspects. The first one was Pink Marker, since she bought a gun recently and was also pink. The second one was Marshmallow, since she could be lying about everything. 

There was also Cake. Tree had just realized that it was incredibly suspicious how Cake had known he was investigating a murder, and that he had been able to get information from a store he didn't own or work at. Tree decided that talking to Cake would be a good decision.

Unfortunately for Tree, he didn't know where Cake lived. Instead of knocking on every door in the entire city trying to find him, he decided to ask one of Cake's friends.

"Tree? What are you doing here?" asked Pie when she answered the door.

Tree did the badge-flashing thing and asked a question of his own. "Do you know where Cake lives?"

Pie squinted at Tree. "You do know we live together, right?"

Tree did not know this.

"I did not know this," said Tree.

"He's in the kitchen or something," continued Pie. "I guess you should come in."

When Tree entered, he immediately smelled something sweet. He spotted Cake in the kitchen or something baking a pie.

"Cake, I have some questions to ask you," announced Tree. Cake jumped, startled, and nearly dropped the pie onto the floor.

"Tree! You nearly made me drop my pie!" yelped Cake as he placed the pie on the counter.

"Yeah, whatever. How did you know I was investigating a murder?" pressed Tree.

"That's none of your business," replied Cake.

"Actually, it kind of is," countered Tree.

"Oh right," admitted Cake.

"So tell me," uttered Tree.

"Well you see I overheard you at the party telling Pen that you were investigating a murder," announced Cake.

"...Then why did you tell me not to ask?" interrogated Tree.

"I thought it would be cooler," communicated Cake.

At this point, thesaurus.com's suggestions started to get ridiculous, so Tree and Cake decided to stop using big words to sound smarter.

"That was incredibly stupid and made you look very suspicious," said Tree.

"Whatever."

"But how did you get these records?"

"I asked nicely."

"I highly doubt that. How did you know you'd need it? You said that you only learned that I was investigating the murder at the party."

"I left the party and then came back really fast."

"Sure. Yes, I totally believe that."

Tree decided to leave. He had gained basically no information, but he could sense that Cake wouldn't give him any. This was rather unfortunate, but he was also feeling rather uncomfortable. 

"I'm leaving now," said Tree.

"Good," replied Cake before calling "Pie! The pie is ready!"

"Oh sweet," said Pie.

Tree was out the door before he had to witness an act of possible cannibalism.