Barking up the Wrong Tree - An Object "Fanfiction"

Chapter 9 - Writing is Hard

Tree was getting very bored of investigating this murder. Unfortunately, it was only Chapter 9, meaning there was a long way to go, otherwise the pacing would be ruined.

Tree decided to go to Pink Marker's place, since she was a suspect or whatever. Of course, he didn't know where she lived, so he decided to knock on every door in the Opal District in sequence until he found her. Unluckily for him, she lived in the third-to-last house in the area. Tree ended up bothering a very large number of people that afternoon.

"Who the hell are you?" asked Pink Marker when Tree finally got to the right house.

"I talked to you last night at the party," replied Tree. "Don't you remember?"

"No."

"Whatever, I'm a private investigator, I have to ask you some questions, all that stuff."

"Oh, great."

Tree entered the house. It was a rather average house. That is to say, there was nothing extraordinary about this particular house. Indeed, just a plain old normal house. Now that the author had spent 25 words describing literally nothing, then followed it with a 30 word satirical sentence, the chapter was up to exactly 200 words in total.

"So, like, what?" grumbled Pink Marker.

"So yesterday you said that yesterday afternoon you were getting party supplies. Is this correct?" questioned Tree.

"Yes."

"Is there anyone who can confirm this?"

"Well, you could ask Pin, Lollipop, the people at the stores we went to, or the security cameras at the stores we went to."

"Okay. Why did you buy a gun?"

"Excuse me?"

"Why did you buy a gun?"

Tree thought he was onto something. If Pink Marker replied with "I never bought a gun." or "How did you know!?" or even "You need to leave. Now." then he would know that Pink Marker was up to something that would likely be at least a little suspicious. 

Unfortunately for Tree, the response from Pink Marker was "Olive, like, invited me hunting a few days ago. I hated it. Never going again."

Whether or not this was a reasonable excuse for purchasing a gun was not pondered by Tree. The existence of an excuse was enough for Tree to nearly eliminate Pink Marker as a suspect, after he verified the alibi with her cohorts.

After he verified the alibi with her cohorts, he decided to just go home for the time being.

When he entered the lobby, he was not greeted by Remote, since Remote wasn't in the lobby. She also wasn't in the office; she went home early. Tree walked upstairs and sat down at his desk. As soon as he sat down, the doorbell rang. This was incredibly irritating, because now Tree had to undo his most recent two actions. He un-sat down and walked un-upstairs.

When he entered the lobby, he was not greeted by Remote, since Remote wasn't in the lobby. She also wasn't in the office; she went home early. Tree walked over to the door and opened it. Standing outside was a tortilla folded in half around some lettuce, tomato, and an entire fish.

"Uh, hi Tree," said Taco.