Chapter 13

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The next few days consisted of partying, sleeping and the boy working on new music. Roger and I tried spending all of our time together. Deaky and Veronica were still acting like I didnt exist. We decided to go out to dinner as a group for our last night. Everyone was heavily drinking and drugs were getting passed around. "I don't know how you boy are gonna survive the rest of the tour. I'm wrecked from this weekend" I said to everyone. "Wrecked from you and Rog having sex 4 times a day. Thin walls dear." Freddie teased me. Jim spat out his beer, he's still not use to Fred's vulgar mouth. "Piss off Fred." Roger said laughing squeezing me close to him. Deaky and Veronica only talked to each other and Brian. I wanted to say something to him but didn't want to ruin our last night. "Well, I'd like to give a toast to our guest. Thank you coming and supporting us. Also, thank you for making me feel like a 7th wheel. Cheers!" Brian said. I knew he was partly joking. Jim and I shared a look, we knew we'd have to find him a girl when wr got back to London. We finished dinner and went to a club. Roger, Fred, and I went straight to the bathroom to do a couple lines. It became a regular thing for us to do together. I knew I wouldn't keep doing coke once I got home, do I figured get it all out now. "I didn't think you'd agree to this at all" Roger said to me as we walked to the dance floor. "I like it, it's fun to be a rock star and not a bartender who paints." I said pulling him close him to me. The music was great. Roger and I start bumping and grinding to the music. Feeling him breathing down my neck and his hands on his waist sent shock waves through my body. We've always had great chemistry and eccentric energy. His hands kept moving up my thighs, going under ny dress and playing with my panties. We loved to tease each other in public. After a while of this, I went back to the booth to go hangout and drink with everyone else. Leaving Rog with a hard on was my favorite way to tease him. "Where did Deaky and Veronica go?" I asked sitting down. "Left as soon as we got here." Brian said to me. I rolled my eyes. "What the bloody hell happened?" Brian asked me. Jim, Fred, and Roger leaned in to hear me. "She thinks I want Deaky and that Deaky wants me. Which is ridiculous!" I said laughing. "It'll blow over, just don't add gasoline to the fire Olivia." Brian said. We stayed drinking till the club shut down and we went back to the hotel. Roger, Brian, and Fred were working on a song while Jim and I laid on the bed. Falling asleep to Freds peaceful singing. The next morning came fast and we had barely enough time to back. Everyone had said their goodbyes and Veronica and Jim were waiting downstairs for me. The boys would be home in 4 months for their shows in London. 4 months felt like an eternity. I said my goodbyes, except for Deaky. I knocked on his door once and he opened it. "What hell the Olivia?" He snapped at me. "No, don't call me Olivia. You call me Liv or Livia like you've been doing since we were 3!" I shouted letting myself in his room. "Liv, I want to you to respect my relationship and please leave." He said. Him telling me to leave sounded so foreign to me. "I just wanted to tell you that I love you like a brother. And I will always love you like family. I don't want you, nor will I ever. If not being friends is gonna help your relationship, then fine. I want you to be happy. That's all I have to say." I said heading towards the door. "Liv, I don't want to lose you. But this needs to be, just for right now." Deaky said to me. I left the room crying and tried to make myself less of a mess before meeting Jim and Veronica. The bus ride and plane ride were both long and awkward. Veronica wouldn't even look or talk to Jim. Once Jim and I got home, we unpacked and I made an early dinner for Jim and I. We ate in silence and cleaned up in silence. It was a comfortable silence. We hugged each other and went our separate ways in the flat. I showered and went straight to bed. My body was sore, my head was pounding from the 5 day binger of a booze and drugs, and my heart ached for Roger. I cried by myself in the bed. Just as I was starting to fall asleep, Jim joined me. Pulling me in close saying "I miss them too, but we'll be alright."

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