Thoughts

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This is edited.

Samantha's P.O.V

I stood frozen still. I wanted to speak but I didn't know what to say. Something along the lines of hey fucker, I hate you for cheating on me and you're a complete asshole. But I didn't because I still loved him. I got caught in my thoughts when my stepdad broke the awkward tension between us. 

"Samantha, this is Shawn Mendes and his manager, Andrew Gertler." 

"It's nice to meet you." I give a sweet smile though I was slowly dying on the inside.

After my stepdad finished talking to Shawn and Andrew, he and Andrew left, leaving me and Shawn in the conference room.

"Samantha," he said in a quiet voice while stepping towards me.

"I think you need to get to work on your lyrics for your new song," I said walking backward. I could see the hurt in his eyes.

"Yeah, you're right," he replied.

" Do you need anything before you start?" I asked.

"I'm okay. Thanks though." Watching him pull out his guitar and playing a couple of songs, I felt tears starting to form in my eyes. I excused myself to the restroom. As I left, I felt Shawn's eye on me, burning my back but I didn't care. 

As I got to the restroom, I looked at myself in the mirror. 

Was I not good enough? Am I to fat? Did he not like me? Was I just a rebound after his other breakup?

The questions went on. I had my purse with me, so I opened it and took out my razor. No, this wasn't the best for me but it was one way that helped me through this. After a couple of slices on my wrist and ankles, I cleaned up the blood and stopped crying. I put on another coat of makeup so it didn't look like I was crying. And then headed back to the room of hell.

Shawn's P.O.V 

She excused herself to the restroom. It looked like it she was going to cry. I'm such an idiot. I know that Camila forced herself on me but I can't believe I continued it. Ugh, I missed her so much. She always knew how to make other people happy even though she hurting. I went back to work but I keep getting distracted by her beauty. I glanced over at the clock. It's been about 15 minutes and she's still not back. I don't know if I should go and check on her, I still love her. I decided not to check on her and go back to working on my songs. A few minutes later she came back in.

" Hey, are you okay?" I asked,

 " Yeah. I'm fine, I talked to my stepdad for a little bit about your songs," she answered but I could tell she was lying.

Samantha's P.O.V

I really hope he didn't notice me lying. I couldn't tell him that I had a problem with cutting myself. What would he think? He probably has a girlfriend and doesn't care for me anymore.  I don't why I have these feelings, he cheated on me. When we were dating he did treat me well and made me happy. He was also good in bed. I was snapped out of my thoughts by Shawn speaking to me.

"Hey, I was wondering if you could go and get me Starbucks and McDonald's please?" 

"Yeah sure, what do you want?"

"Chocolate Chip Frap Grande, and then a quarter pounder with a medium fries"

"Okay, I'll be back soon with your food." Of course, the line to Starbucks was huge. It took me 10 minutes. McDonald's was fast and easy. By the time I got back, Shawn was packing up his stuff.

"Hey, sorry, the line at Starbucks sucked dick. But here is your drink and food."

"Thanks. Did you eat," he asked me.

"Yeah, I ate on the way back" I lied. Wow, my second lie of the day please forgive me, Jesus. 

"Okay well, thanks for the food I'll see you tomorrow I guess," he replied. 

" Yeah, I'll see you tomorrow."

I headed towards the door before I was stopped by Shawn. He grabbed my wrist which slightly hurt due to my cuts. I quickly pulled back before they started to bleed again. 

"Look Samantha I'm really sorry. I miss you so much. I regret what I did. I miss you so much it hurts me. Please forgive me. I will do anything" he said. I couldn't tell if he was lying or not. It looked like it so I just brushed it off.

I looked at him in the eye and gave a slight nod before making my way out of the door. I cried the whole way home. Once I got home my head hit the pillow and I fell into a deep slumber.



A/N:

Heres the 3rd chapter. This one sucked but whatever.

~ridingstyles



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