𝐎𝐥𝐝-𝐅𝐚𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐝 | 𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚍𝚣𝚎𝚕𝚕𝚘.

𝐬𝐢𝐱 | " 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝'𝚜 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎𝚕𝚢 𝚘𝚏 𝚢𝚘𝚞. "

Ben.

The remainder of the day went peaceful, as if there's going to be anything that can possibly change it. I made my dinner, which were some mashed potatoes and roasted chicken. I know how to cook, yes. They didn't teach us how inside the military school, no. Nana taught me when I was young, not directly but I used to watch her cook all the time until she told me a thing or two- enough not to starve myself when time comes and I needed to stand on my own.

Didn't expect it will be this hard. And that early.

As much as possible, I don't want to talk about it. If it wasn't Uncle Jim who ask what did really happen, I'd rather shrug off all the questions around me. I want to forget about it but not to the extent that I will erase everything completely.

Basically the solemn reason why I flew from London to New York is so I can live up the life I grew up into, even if it costed me my profession I persued for several years.

I'm currently washing the dishes, with of course the fainted sound of the radio playing in the background. I'm not a fan of technology, I don't have Facebook or Instagram or what else you guys have. I do have a phone, an iPhone but I only use it solely for basic use such as phone calls, messages- music. Spotify.

Suddenly, I heard three knocks coming from the front door. I peaked my head from across the kitchen towards the door, waiting if the visitor will either knock more or call out for my name. And I was right, another set of knocks were heard followed by a voice.

"Ben?" Oh, it's Joe.

How sure are you it was Joe, you just met him?

I know it's him because it wasn't hard to familiarize that accent and chirpy tone. I called back to let him know I'm awake. "Yeah, give me a moment!"

I quickly set aside the dishes aside and wipe off my hands using the towel hanging from the fridge. I jogged towards the door and open it, revealing Joe with a smile on his face that I, gave back. "Hey, how can I help?" I don't know why it was the first thing that slipped off my mouth. I could've use "how is it going" or "what's up" but my first instinct is to know if I can help. Lovely.

I noticed that he's holding a pack of cookies in his hands, I can smell those and it made me hungry although I literally just ate. "Uh, yeah. Hi. I was just wondering if you would like to have of these. I made a lot and Gwilym's not home so I figured I'd share them with you? Welcome home gift!" He rambled as he pushed the pack towards my chest and I couldn't do anything but to catch it with my hands, just looking at him and the cookies.

He's been mentioning Gwilym a lot since we've talked, now it makes me wonder who is it and why Joe loves to talk about him. Is he his boyfriend? Live-in partner, perhaps since he mentioned the guy not being home?

Why is there a pang in my chest thinking of that?

"That's.. that's lovely of you. Thank you!" I said, clutching on the ziplock pack and gave him a warm smile. "Would you like to come in though?"
I moved away from the door slightly and motioned him to come in. To my dismay, Joe shook his head.

"Thanks but I have to finish cleaning. Maybe tomorrow morning? I'll drop by here and pick you up so I can tour you around." He politely offered, his face was beaming. How could you decline his invitation?

"That's perfect! Yes, around eight would that be alright?"

"Sounds good. I'll see you tomorrow!" And with that, Joe waved goodbye and walked out of my sight, marching towards his home next door.

I sighed as I enter the house and let my body fall onto the couch though I secured the cookies by placing them on top of my chest, the smell of it crawling into my nostrils.

Sure, Joe seems like a nice guy- both physical and personality wise. He's probably younger than me by five years, with his hair in the shade of auburn and hazel eyes. His awkward smile that looks adorable on him. He radiates a soft energy.

Do I sound gay?

Sorry to break it off but I am, infact, gay. Well not openly a gay, but I don't want to label myself because I'm not after the genders. I might classified myself as pansexual but I've just recently came out as part of the LGBTQ+. A month exactly after I filed my retirement letter. I was nervous but they accepted who I am for what I am and I'm truly grateful.

So yes, let's go back to Joe. He makes me wonder of several things, as you can recall I've been asking myself weird questions like some idiot. He's pretty, to say the least. Not to mention that I owe him something because I can still remember what I've overheard from yesterday. I may have had scared him when I was unpacking my things. I felt bad about it.

I wonder how it feels to have him close, holding him in between my arms. What the heck did I've gotten myself into- did I just develop a crush towards him? Oh no. Oh no no.

Well, I'm not saying that he couldn't be a potential love interest but let's see. I'm not even sure if he's indeed dating Gwilym because that'll hurt my shit for sure. Right now, I'll go ahead and finish the dishes and make myself some tea as I munch into these delicious cookies. Made me remember those Nana used to make me when I was eight.

Tomorrow shall be a great day.

100 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐬 𝐲'𝐚𝐥𝐥. 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐢𝐬 𝐮𝐧𝐛𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐞𝐯𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞. :'›
-𝐫.