seasons | killmonger

25 | M O O N & S T A R S

I pointed out to you the stars (the moon)
and all you saw was the tip of my finger

-Tanzania Proverb

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Mbali

"Where are we? What am I looking at?" I asked and looked around the large parking lot that we were in as we sat in the car, looking at a large building while he smoked. I didn't mind it, since he would occasionally do it back home. Our car was the only one in the lot, and he put his hand over his mouth as he finished exhaling the smoke. Sighing, he put his hand on his head now, leaning against the mirror.

"This is where I used to live, with my dad and Zuri. This is where he got killed." He said calmly, but didn't make eye contact with me. The building was almost destroyed. Each level of windows were busted out, and there was graffiti on the brick walls of the building. The basketball court on the opposite side of it had a makeshift rim, while a blinking light sat over it. Yellow caution tape went around the area in a patter. "T'Challa's gonna fix it up, and turn it into a school or something like that. This is where I used to live though."

I looked over to his side profile and bit my bottom lip, letting him continue to talk. "The fourth story is where we stayed. My dad was one of the most respected people in this community. Nobody every disrespected him, none of that. Shit, when they saw me? They didn't even disrespect me." He mentioned the memory, but didn't smile at the thought of it, which seemed to hurt me; if not himself. Maybe even if he remembered the memories, he had no emotions to connect them to. "He wanted to help this city that much."

"Why'd you bring me here?" I asked softly, taking his words in, and making sure I'm careful with mine so that I won't offend him. Erik's fingers tapped along the steering wheel to the soft music that was coming from the radio.

"You told me things about you, I didn't want you to think that I was keeping any secrets since you were that open when you didn't have to be."

Nodding my head, I didn't question anything else. It was nice that he wanted me to see where exactly he came from, I just wish he could enjoy it as much as I did. "As soon as my pops died, I got put into the system." he chuckled. "They couldn't handle me; none of them could, honestly. But, I got tossed around till I was old enough to make it on my own. This place wasn't the best looking, but it never looked like this."

I pulled my knees toward my chest and leaned my back against the door, watching him. "Does it hurt seeing it all again?"

He shook his head and shrugged, "People can make themselves numb to certain shit, so I made myself numb to all this. It's no point in having emotions attached to it." He said truthfully. "We lived here when I found out my mom was in jail and died, I found out about Wakanda here, just to have that shit mean nothing."

"Well, it didn't actually mean nothing. You found out you actually do have another family that cares... you found out you're a prince to a throne too. It might not have been how you wanted it to go, but you got something out of it." I bit my lip. Erik just nodded his head, and I understood why he didn't want to answer me fully. Sighing, I reached over and took the keys out of the ignition, making him look at me with glazed over eyes.

"What—"

"You just need to sit and not go anywhere. Take in what's going on around you, and embrace it. The pain, the good memories, all of it." I tossed the keys back and forth in my hands. "I had to do the same thing for myself when I lost my parents, and it helped a little. Just sit and reflect. No noise except from what's outside the car."