First Love || kσσkv

-𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘳𝘵𝘺 𝘵𝘸𝘰

"I mean- Namjoon. What if Namjoon sees me." Jungkook tried to change up the name quickly but Taehyung knew that he meant Jimin. "No, you meant Jimin. Tell me how you know he lives here." Taehyung demanded why and how Jungkook knew that but Jungkook just shook his head. "Taehyung, it was a long time ago." Jungkook breathed out and sat back on the bench.

"And? You shouldn't have a problem telling me if it was a long time ago." Taehyung turned to Jungkook who rubbed at his mouth. "I came back," Jungkook mumbled in which Taehyung had a hard time hearing the mumble. "Remove your hand and speak clearly will you?" Taehyung scolded Jungkook. Before he would clearly be scared to do so but he's different now.

"I came back," Jungkook spoke clearly to Taehyung, turning to look at the boy who was still confused. Giving it a moment before he started to speak again. "A year after I left... I came back. I came back for you. I was still in the same headspace and I am still so grateful Jimin stopped me." Jungkook tried to continue speaking but Taehyung interrupted Jungkook.

"Jimin? What do you mean he stopped you-" Taehyung asked and Jungkook sighed. "Let me finish will you?" Jungkook leaned back. Coughing a bit, Taehyung nodded and allowed Jungkook to keep talking. "I was drunk and high and I don't know. I wanted you and that's all I knew but as I walked closer to the apartment, Jimin saw me." Jungkook gulped.

Tilting his head a bit, Jungkook sucked in a breath. "He dragged me out, literally and I was so fucked up that I was ready to fight him but he beat me to it- and then he yelled in my face about how pathetic I was for coming back. How you started going to therapy because of me. How much I ruined you. Jimin made me realize the actual piece of shit I am and how much I didn't deserve you nor anyone. He made me realize I was fucked up, that I needed help." Jungkook licked his lips.

"So I left and made a promise to myself that I would never make contact with you again for your sake. I got help, I went to multiple doctors, therapists, psychologists. Which really had me in an ocean of bills to pay but I didn't want to turn out like my dad. I mean, I did but he never got the help. So I did it for myself and know... I know what I have and I've gotten it under control. I've been okay for the past two years now."

Taehyung watched Jungkook closely as he just spilled everything to Taehyung. Everything in his head clashing together at the memories from before. How abusive and controlling Jungkook was. "W-What.. what is it? What do you have..?" Taehyung asked, not knowing if he stepped over a line but he had to know.

Jungkook was not comfortable saying nor did he want to even speak about it but he felt like he owed it to Taehyung. After everything he put Taehyung through, he had to tell him. "I have a personality disorder and surprise surprise, anger issues. The personality disorder runs in my family I assume. My grandfather and father both had it but I doubt they ever got help for it." Jungkook scratched at his nape.

"To be more specific. I was diagnosed with an antisocial personality disorder but not as bad as they would have thought considering I've grown up with my dad like so, I've tried so much to not be like him just to turn out like him. I work out now though... whenever I'm feeling a certain way or boxing. Which is not all the time so, that's good, right? I like to think so anyway."

Taehyung's facial expression was blank. All of the pain Jungkook caused what because of a disorder? but it obviously didn't make anything right and he could tell Jungkook knew that. "I also go to these anger management meetups every now and then. I have Jimin to thank for that because.. if he didn't give me a black eye and swollen half-face then I would have been the same me back then." Jungkook snorted with a forced smile.

"Jimin won't see you. He's busy with other things. We all grew and we all have jobs now. Just come inside." Taehyung gulped when he suddenly switched the conversation in which Jungkook was glad Taehyung did as he nodded slowly. "Only because you're tweaking beside me right now." Jungkook stood up. Taehyung breaking into a chuckle. "I'm cold, asshole."

Jungkook smiled, taking off his jacket while he looked at Taehyung who watched. Waiting for permission, Jungkook held up the jacket and Taehyung nodded slowly, allowing Jungkook to place the jacket over his shoulders as they waited for the cars to pass and run across the street. Which wasn't a good idea as Taehyung lost his slipper on the way.

"My Gucci slipper!" Taehyung turned, attempting to hurry and grab his slipper but Jungkook stopped Taehyung. "Stop, wait here." Jungkook looked both ways before hurrying onto the road. "Jungkook!" Taehyung yelled and closed his eyes as he saw the speeding car approach. Slowly opening his eyes, Taehyung's eyes landed on Jungkook standing in front of him with his slipper in hand.

"Got it." Jungkook smiled, placing the slipper down and standing up as Taehyung scoffed and slipped his foot back into the slipper. "You're mad stupid for doing that." Taehyung scolded Jungkook who scoffed just as Taehyung walked. "You were about to do the same thing. Thank me for not ending up like those animals on crossy road." the boy held back his smile.

"Oh shut up." Taehyung pushed at Jungkook's shoulder as they both broke into small laughter. Walking into the apartment, Jungkook pursed his lips and took a look around. "Love what you did with the place." Jungkook complimented as he turned to Taehyung who yawned and walked over to the closet to grab out a blanket and pillow.

"Suki is in the bedroom, you can go sleep with him and I'll take the couch." Taehyung let the pillow and blanket fall onto the couch. Shaking his head, Jungkook insisted on taking the couch but Taehyung stopped Jungkook. "If Jimin walks in he'll beat your ass dead on this couch. Go sleep in the room Jungkook." Taehyung pointed.

Not wanting to be beaten, Jungkook stopped fighting against Taehyung. "Fine.. sleep well Taehyung." Jungkook glanced at Taehyung who was already getting comfy on the couch. Making his way to the room he once slept in with Taehyung, Jungkook couldn't get much of a view as it was dark though he was tired and cold so he didn't care at the moment.

Climbing into bed slowly, Jungkook laid on his bed and pulled the blanket over himself. Just being in the apartment with Taehyung felt utterly amazing but anytime he tried to be happy about that, his own memories would return and kick him in the ass.