Never Be The Same {SCOROSE}

Chapter 18 - Scorpius [UPDATED]

"I'm giving all I can, but all you ever do is mess it up"

Friday. Two days until the end of term — until everyone except the seventh years would be departing the castle. Five days until the graduation ball. Two months to the day since my first date with Rose and everything that happened that night. It was only fitting, I supposed, that I was set to meet her tonight. We had a lot of things to talk about.

"Where are you off to?" Albus inquired, glancing at his watch then back up at me from where he sat on his bed. "It's past curfew."

I cocked an eyebrow at him. "And since when have we cared about curfew?"

My best friend rolled his eyes. "Never, I suppose. But I thought you weren't— I mean, I was under the impression that you'd decided— that is... I had some reason to believe that you were done with your..." he frowned, searching for a term, then shook his head. "...with the whole late-night hookup thing."

I couldn't help smirking at his awkwardness, but I shook my head. "Don't worry, I'm not headed for a broom closet — or for the Room of Requirement. I'm just... I need to think about some things. I'm going for a walk."

As I finished I thought I heard my friend laugh under his breath, but if he had, he didn't acknowledge it — just searched my face, brow furrowed, then gave the slightest of smiles. "Okay. Try not to get caught by Filch."

Scoffing, I slipped the jacket I'd fetched over my shoulders. "You know I could never." Waving over my shoulder, I ducked out into the common room, the smile fading from my face as soon as I was alone. I felt really shitty about lying to Al... he didn't deserve it, especially when we'd been trying so hard to be better friends to each other. He'd been acting odd for the last week or so — brushing off questions, disappearing at all hours... When pushed, he claimed prefect duties were to blame, but I doubted that — and I was starting to wonder if he knew I was keeping something from him.

But what was I supposed to do? I couldn't tell him I was meeting Rose tonight, because he would want to know why — and that was still the deepest of secrets. If keeping Rose's trust meant lying to my best friend... that was just how it had to be. But I still felt like the worst person in the world for doing it.

This time, Rose had beaten me to the meeting. When I reached the top of the Astronomy tower, she was sitting with her knees pulled up to her chin, her back against the heavy stones that made up the crenellated ramparts. Her red hair was pulled up in a messy bun, strands falling out around her face. She tilted her head up just slightly as I approached her, and the edges of her lips curled up just barely. "Hi," she said.

"Hey," I said, returning the slight smile with one of my own. When I reached the ramparts, I hesitated, wondering what the next move was. I still wasn't sure about the protocol for this — what level of familiarity were we supposed to have? This was the girl who'd stomped on my heart. But it was also the girl who was going to have my baby.

Luckily, she solved the problem by patting the empty space next to her. "Sit down... the last thing I need is to strain my neck looking up at you for this whole conversation."

With another bare smile, I slid down to sit beside her, but left a good six inches of space between us. Any closer, and the proximity would hurt too much. "How are you feeling?" I asked. It seemed like as good a place as any to start.

Rose sighed deeply. "Okay, I guess. The nausea's been better since I'm on a potion for it. I'm craving the weirdest foods... would you believe I ate a plateful of brussel sprouts yesterday?" She shook her head, chuckling, as she continued. "There's not much else to tell, at least not at the moment. I'm just... I'm tired all the time, really. Certainly too tired to fight with my friends, which seems to be all they want to do. And now that I've..." She paused for so long that I turned to look at her, wondering if she was okay. I found her with her face buried in her hands. When she lifted it, her cheeks were wet. "I broke up with Andy," she finally whispered through her tears, "on Wednesday, and I've never felt worse about anything in my life. And without him I'm just—" Her voice broke. She took a shaky breath before continuing. "I'm just alone," she said. "Even if Lysa and Lily were talking to me, I know I couldn't tell them the truth, so maybe it's better that they aren't... But damn it, Scorpius... I don't have a single person in the world to talk to right now except for you, and I hate myself for it. It's not what either of us wants. I just wish... I wish I could make it go away. All of it." She shook her head again, wiping tears from her eyes. "And now I've dumped a boatload of my shit on you, and I feel even worse. Merlin..."