Never Be The Same {SCOROSE}

Chapter 35 - Scorpius

TRIGGER WARNING: DISCUSSION OF SELF-HARM AND ATTEMPTED SUICIDE

Five days had passed since Lucy Weasley’s attempt to take her own life. The doctors, after much deliberation and discussion with her parents, had deemed it acceptable for her to return home, provided she wasn’t left alone. This development meant that I, who had been kept out of her hospital room because I lacked a legal familial connection, would be able to talk to her as Rose wanted me to.

We’d already talked to Lucy’s parents, explaining that I’d had experience in the things their daughter was struggling with and thought she might be more willing to talk to me because of it. She still had not uttered a word, either to her family or the psychiatrists, other than simple requests for food and other such things. The moment they breached the subject of her personal state, she clammed up and wouldn’t respond. 

Rose said that it seemed much worse than the last time. After the first attempt, she had been all tearful remorse and explanations. Rose thought that the other time had been a cry for help. This one, though, she believed to have been serious. That was what worried her, and Lucy’s family, and me. If Lucy really wanted to die, the path leading back to her stability would be much longer and harder than the one they had walked before. 

Still, I was determined to do what I could. Which is why I stood outside Lucy’s bedroom shifting uneasily on my feet, waiting for her mother to come out. She’d taken the first shift home from the hospital, in order to help Lucy settle in and all. In a minute or two I’d go in to replace her. I chewed on my lip, anxious for the conversation to come.

“You musn’t worry yourself.” Rose’s voice was gentle at my side, and the tension in my shoulders eased as she wrapped her arms around my neck, laying her head against my chest.

I sighed shakily. “I’m afraid I won’t be able to help her, Rosie. And if I can’t- I’ve failed you.”

Rose cupped her hand softly around my cheek. “You could never fail me… I have far too much faith in you for that.”

The door of Lucy’s bedroom creaked as it swung open, making me jump. Audrey Weasley, who had far too many worry lines for a woman of her age, managed a slight smile. “She’s not been very responsive this morning,” she told us softly. “I hope you can get through to her.”

I swallowed. “I hope so, too.”

Rose kissed my cheek. “I believe in you,” she whispered. Then, “Shall I come down and make some tea, Aunt Audrey?”

The woman smiled gratefully. “That sounds wonderful, Rose. Thank you.”

After giving my hand a last reassuring squeeze, Rose headed down the stairs with her aunt. And then, taking a deep breath, I entered Lucy’s room.

Lucy Weasley looked very small and frail, sitting on the side of her bed and staring out the window. Her eyes flickered to me only momentarily, then returned to the glass. 

"Hey," I said quietly. No response. Hesitantly, I stepped around the corner of the bed and sat down beside her. There was a large tree outside her window, bare branches reaching out in all directions. 

Humans, when you stop to think about it, can be a bit like trees. For months we thrive, until suddenly an autumn arrives and we begin to lose our hope. A period of winter will batter us harshly, and at times we seem unsure of if we can go on as we have. In the darkest of winters, as I well knew, spring can seem impossibly out of reach. But if we are willing to search for it, we will see the sun peeking through the clouds, ready to return us to life. I believed that with all of my heart, and I only hoped I might be able to help Lucy see the light.