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chapter song jackson browne: all good things "all good things must come to an end / the thrills have to fade / before they come 'round again / the bills will be paid / the pleasure will mend / all good things must come to an end"
2019
Nikki's entry
Life was finally starting to look up after a grim period of time. The pain of Ezra's passing had finally started to settle and El had accepted that we were going to have to create our new normal. Ezra was an asshole but speaking from experience, I understand why he acted the way he did, but we'll get to that later.
We bought a house in Van Nuys and I was so excited to be starting over in a new house with El, but if you know anything about me, you know that by the end of the 80s, I was ready to burn that house to ground and move to another continent. Don't let me get too ahead of myself. Welcome to the summer of 1984, before everything went to shit.
After we came off the road, there was no question in whether or not I was going to rehab. El had already went after Ezra's funeral. She did a 60 day stint in Betty Ford with no problem which gave me all the strength I needed to sign myself away for a couple months and get my shit together. For the first time in my entire life, I felt true hunger for something that wasn't going to put me in harm's way. However, life was a balancing act and it was a fine line to walk straight. I was 26 years old in a rock band with vices being thrown at me left and right, most of the time from my band mates, but I chose her. I always chose her.
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El's entry
It was time to move on to better things. Sitting around and sulking in that fucking house that reminded me of my dead brother wasn't going to do me or my sobriety any good, so I agreed with Nikki's plan to buy a new house that was ours. I thought it was too painful to stay and sit around on the couch where Ezra slept many nights or eat in the kitchen that he almost burnt down on several occasions. Little did I know it was almost just as painful to leave, but I was ready. I was slowly learning that life would never stop rolling on and I decided I needed to start living it the way I wanted, and I guess that meant doing an adult thing like buying a home with my boyfriend.
The Sycophants were on an indefinite hiatus, deciding we needed time to heal and have a moment to breathe before throwing ourselves back into working like madmen. It was nice to not have any pressing responsibilities. If I wanted to lay in bed all day with Nikki, I could. If I wanted to travel the country, I could. If I wanted to disappear for days on end, I could, but in case you didn't already know, the first option was how I primarily spent my time.
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Nikki's entry
I severely underestimated how difficult it would be to decoratively start over from scratch in a new home with someone else's tastes to consider. After a few months of being together, I kind of just moved into El's house since I spent the majority of my free time there. I didn't care about what colors the fucking walls were or what type of curtains looked best in the living room because it was already taken care of, and I was just a young kid who didn't give a fuck about interior design. I was just happy to have a girlfriend that loved me and had a stockpile of food all the time. I was quite skinny (and perpetually starved) back then.
