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chapter song john waite: missing you "but i ain't missing you at all / since you've been gone away / i ain't missing you / no matter what i might say"
1985
It's 6:48 PM. The sun is shining through the window just so, and it's warm. It feels like you and it reminds me of how much I miss you even though I hate to admit it. The clouds are strewn about the sky, swallowing the blue almost whole as it turns into peaches and plums and strawberries. Sometimes I can feel the world turning. Outside the window, the houses sit still and firm in their foundation, confident in the way they were built and I wish I could feel the same.
Everything is so quiet and calm, but I can feel the earth spinning beneath my feet. It feels like a rollercoaster and I know you love rollercoasters, so my mind drifts back to you. It eases the spinning, but it fuels the desire to be near you just so I can hear the hum of your voice muffled against my skin. I don't even want you in that way anymore. I want you in the way that you can breathe in my hair and get drunk off the smell of me. I want you in the way that I feel at home when I lay my head in the crook of your neck.
It's 8:23 PM. The sun is setting behind the hills and the cool air is blowing softly, and I'm craving your warmth. Where are you?
Sighing, El closed her journal and set it down beside her. She chewed on the end of the pen and allowed herself to wallow in her brokenheartedness for a moment. Part of healing is allowing yourself to feel the pain when you need to, and El had become all too familiar with that part of the process. She rose from her place on the park bench and trudged back to her car. She had a long day ahead of her tomorrow and the last thing she needed was to look puffy-eyed and tired on the red carpet.
—
Award shows were always kind of a pain in the ass. The process of hair and makeup and fashion was something El loved, but the rest of the band could do without it. Margo, on the other hand, was with El on this one. It was her first time ever doing something like this and she could hardly contain her excitement.
"Are we going to the after party tonight?" Del asked as she applied her eyeshadow.
"Did we get invited to the after party?" El huffed a laugh.
"Well," Del drawled, "not exactly. But we've always been the type to show up where we're not wanted, so it wasn't really a question."
"Word," Margo giggled, lighting a cigarette. "Can't believe we're nominated for an award."
"It's about damn time we started getting some recognition from the academy," Jude sighed dramatically as he ringed his lids in eyeliner.
"MTV is a far stretch from the academy," El laughed, adjusting her dress.
"Whatever," he scoffed. "The point is, our hard work is paying off and we can only go up from here. We cannot possibly get any lower than where we've been."
"Please do not jinx us," Del scolded him.
"Oh fuck off."
—
"Well, well, well," a familiar voice whistled, "if it isn't Miss El Sixx."
"Hello to you, too, Mr. David Lee Roth," El laughed, allowing him to kiss her hand, "and it's Everly, thank you very much."
"Oh right, right," he tsked, "I heard about that."
"Who didn't?" She scoffed, bumping her shoulder with his.
"That sucks, man. I was really rooting for you guys."
"Shit happens," she shrugged.
"Well, in other news, congrats on your nomination!" David cheered, giving her a firm squeeze to her shoulder.
"You should be congratulating yourself! You've got the most nominations here. That's something to be proud of!"
"Yeah, yeah, yeah," he brushed off, but El knew him well enough to know that his ego was boosted ten fold. "Alright kiddo, I'll see ya out there."
"Good luck!" El called to him. As El was walking back to her seat, another voice called out to her.
"Excuse me, miss?" El turned around as a hand gently grasped hers and her jaw dropped.
"Tina Turner?" She gazed at the gorgeous woman in front of her.
"I just wanted to say I love your dress," she grinned, "it's very rock and roll."
"I—uh—," she stammered, "thank you! Thanks, thank you. Yours too! You look incredible!" Tina simply squeezed her hand with another smile and walked away. El stood there for a moment, dumbfounded and tingly from the unsuspecting validation from rock and roll royalty and grinned to herself. "Tina Turner likes my fucking dress," she whispered to herself before finally going back to her seat.
—
"Can't believe we lost to that washed up Eagles prick bastard," Jude grumbled as he collapsed into his seat in the limo beside Vera.
"I smell a sore loser," Del sang, downing her drink.
"It doesn't matter, Jude. At least we were nominated," El reminded him.
"Where to now, guys?" Their driver, Michael, asked.
"To the after party!" Del cheered.
"Which we were not invited to!" El added in with a laugh.
"You used to be rock and roll. What happened to you?" Del teased.
El cocked her brow. "You wanna see rock and roll?" She challenged, then looked over to Margo and smirked. "I hope you're ready."
—
a/n: i apologize for the short chapter but i just wanted to get something out 😎 i will b updating again v soon since this chapter didn't even break 1000 words but it's fine i'm fine :,) i love you guys thank u for reading <3
