Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
chapter song kings of leon: true love way "push in and i pull it away / it's a hard part but the true love way / girl you're wanted like a wanted man / with your smart mouth and your killer hand"
1984
The few moments of relentless love had unfortunately crumbled once both Nikki and El realized the circumstances of their situation. They broke apart from their embrace and almost instantly did Nikki's face change from soft and sweet to hardened and cold.
"You said you have some things to tell me," El almost didn't recognize his voice and her body shivered at his tone.
"Y-Yeah," she stammered, eyes wide. "There's a place we can talk down the hall, j-just follow me."
El so desperately wanted to reach for his hand and guide him to the private room, but she was almost afraid to, so she didn't. Her strides were slow, like she was trying to preserve this calm before the storm, though calm may not be the right word. She was afraid he wouldn't believe a word she said, maybe think it was all bullshit and just jump on a plane and go home. She couldn't even be upset with him if he chose to do so, knowing how badly she had hurt him.
The two of them had reached one of the more secluded rooms in the ward, mostly safe from prying eyes but open enough to where she wouldn't be in any trouble. They sat across from each other in a little corner tucked away in the room, skin crawling from the tension in the air. In this moment, El felt the weight of the world on her shoulders and she was being crushed under the weight of it all as the seconds rolled on.
Finally, she looked into his eyes and felt like crying again. Heartbreak and despair glared at her right in the face and though Nikki so desperately tried to cover it up, it wasn't so easy. She could always see right through him and it was in times like these when that pissed him off severely.
"I would just like to start off by saying that I am so incredibly sorry," her voice trembled. "I hope you know me well enough that I would never do anything to intentionally hurt you."
"Yeah, well I feel like I don't really know you that much anymore, so," he shrugged, face remaining stoic.
"You and me both," she sighed. "I struggled really hard with my choice to leave, and I want you to know that I wasn't trying to leave you. I just had to go somewhere to clear my head, and then things got scary." When Nikki didn't respond, she continued on with recounting the story. "I took off on a drive, just thinking I'd maybe head up state for a week or so. Go to San Francisco or something, I don't know. I was gonna call you when I got there, but I never made it up that way.
"I ended up around Bakersfield and crashed in a hotel for a few days. I drank myself into oblivion the whole time I was there and I relapsed. Well, actually, I got blow with the intention to kill myself, but that obviously didn't go as planned. Then the next couple days I just cried and cried and wanted to come home, but I was in no shape. I didn't want to put that shit on you or anyone else."
