AS LONG AS I WAKE UP TODAY

•the thirty-thirth•

Shawn's hand muffled my scream.
"I said keep quiet... do you want us to be killed?". I looked up at him examed his eyes deeply.
"Maybe don't you?".
"I don't wanna die".
"But... like aren't you tired?". Shawn looked at me with content, shoved closer to me barely visible.
"What do you mean by that?". I looked down. I ignored him, limped to my wall painting. Made a messy bun on my hair, and started painting in my flowers.
"Lilia you're acting weird".
"I just wanna go home... aren't you tired?". He walked up to me i felt his body-warmth on my neck. "Sometimes... but when i see you i know why I'm here". his voice turned out low.

What..?

I walked along him climbed on the steel ladder. Edited the outlines of a golden letter with ink-black paint. "What do you mean?".
"Images seeing an 5 feet tall girl walking around with her stubborn mind... her being hopeless, wouldn't you help?".
"I'm not hopeless".

"I love the art". My mind went crazy in sone way reminded me of Peter.
"Thanks".
He nogged slowly apparently out of conversation-subjects.
His eyes wandered off to my ankle. "Can i please bandage your ankle?'
"I'm..." i stared.
"Please".
"The ebo box is in that closet". I pointed to the other side of the room.

When he was grumbling with the bandage i notice a bloodstain on his right-hand. It wasn't my blood. He even didn't touched my ankle.
"What happened to your hand?".
"When i ran to you...with Peter... they tried to shoot me... like you already know i guess, they just shot my hand".
"O my god I'm sorry i didn't say it i!..".
"Wow, you're freaking out now? Lilia 'it was just a pain shot' woodsome?".
"It WAS just a pain shot".
"That is just as bad as this".
"Can i..?". i reached my hand out for the baggage
"I've had ebo lessons in highschool". he looked at me unsure.
"Let me first do your ankle".
He sat next to me on the floor crossed legs i turned to him so he could wrap my ankle up in the baggage. He carefully lifted my ankle in his lab. "Oh out".
"Sorry".
"Just wrap that stupid thing up".
He took off my shoes, removed my bloody socks. He opened a bottle, i know that smell that disgusting smell.

It hurt but i couldn't care less i just want it to be over with.
It took a long time because of his hand my bandage was more socked with his blood than with mine, He was bleeding heavily.

I took the left-over bandage took his hand, the muscles tented when i stared at his blood-covered shallow tattoo.
"Don't rune your tattoo".
"I tried not to".
I removed the blood with my sleeve. Cleaned his hand palm. And i found out that he is pretty sensitive. like i know he had a soft kinda side, he literally yelled at me to stop it and make the pain go away.
"Lilia you do this at purpose... i swear...".
"Stop overacting I'm already done". I wrapped the bandage around his hand.
When i was done he looked at me i looked back at him but his eyes traveled to the ground, kept staring. "Thank you".
"Wow, that was a bunch of energy".
"Like you are, you never came to party's you never applied to any sports or anything".
"Not feeling like it is another thing you are always full of energy".
"True".
This was the first time that we had a normal conversation. Since the shooting. I was really calm.

Then the gun went off it really didn't had an effect on me... it happens all the time
It was just the thirty-third.