South || Benny Rodriguez (Book 2)

18

Naomi's P.O.V.

Flashback
August 7, 1962

I sat in my bed at the Conways. Hands on both sides on me, and my breathing is heavy. It was almost 3 in the morning, the only source of light was from the moon. My window was open, so you could hear the cars driving by, and the sounds of people in the alleys.

Lucy wasn't in the room with me, she decided to watch a movie with Cam in the living room, leaving me and my thoughts in my room. I sniff wiping my eyes, looking out the window.

I couldn't explain what was happening, or what I feeling. This used to be a constant feeling that I would have back in Indiana. Confused, anger, and just alone at the same time. 

I have no idea why I was even feeling like this, I was just pissed off at the world. I was so confused what to do, or why I felt like this.

Memories from Indiana were playing in my mind just having this feeling.

"Stop." I mumble to myself, closing my eyes hoping that the memories would just stop.

Flashes of his face, the lights, his anger in his face. The hands being thrown around my neck, or punches being served into my face. My groaning and yelling for that to stop.

I bring up my right hand to my head, crying hard but quieter, making sure not to wake anyone.

"Stop. Stop. Stop." I continue mumbling, squeezing my eyes shut.

The police taking my out of the house, the whole neighborhood standing outside. The blood dripping everywhere from my body. The complete horror I was feeling. The pavement going past from under me, being carried into the ambulance.

I started to hit the side of my head, "No. No. No."

The doctor talking to me, the hospital room I stayed in, the machines that I was hooked up to. The stitches, the cast, the pills. The ache, the pain, the gown I stayed in.

"Please." I paused, "just stop."

They didn't stop, the flashbacks kept coming back. I hit my head harder, and harder. My crying was harder, my breathing was hard to keep steady.

"Naomi?" I hear as someone knocked on my door.

I didn't answer, I didn't even pay attention. His face wouldn't leave my mind. The chains, the chair and bed. 6 days I was stuck in one place. 6 days. Beat after beat. Screaming after screaming.

The door opened, I still didn't pay attention.

The dark brown eyes, filled with anger and rage. At first it was lust but days grew longer to anger. It was cold, alone in a room. There was ever a light on it was just one, it didn't light the whole room, but gave something. But it also was never on, it was always off till he were to come down.

Someone shook my shoulder, I didn't say or even look up, "Naomi, are you okay? Why are you crying?"

"Leave me alone." I called out, swiping my tears quickly looking away.

"Ni?" I hear another voice.

"Gosh, what word don't you understand, leave me alone." I call out louder.

"Ni, I ain't leaving." It was Cam, I knew it was, I wasn't stupid.

"Cam, you out of all people would know to leave me alone."  I pointed out, watching the floor.

"Ni, please tell me what's wrong. I'm here t-"

"Scram! Leave me alone! Gosh, just get out of here! I don't want to talk. And I ain't going to talk." I yelled but then calmed down.

"Charlie, could you uh, leave us alone for a minute?" Cam asked, I didn't hear anything but the footsteps of someone walking away, and the sound of the door closing.

"Naomi," he paused, then started walking over to me, "why have you been acting out lately? You acting just how you were when dad died."

He sat down next to me, "I don't want to talk Cam, get out."

"I know a lot about you Naomi. You don't actually want me to leave. I know you don't. You just don't want to talk to me." He paused leaning back, "Fine. You don't have to talk to me, I'll talk to you."

I didn't say anything, I just brought my knees up to my head, resting my body on him.

"I remember when you used to be so happy, everything about you was just say happy. You were always smiling." He paused, "I remember the day that we were going through the attic in Colorado, right before we left for Florida. We were were close to packing up when mom found boxes of dads things and moms old stuff. Dad started to unpack things from his box, pulling out his old jerseys. I even remember what he said to you when he gave you his favorite jersey. 'Naomi, this is my favorite jersey, I made 4 home runs in this jersey, and even got to play championship. I want you to do the same, make our last name still a legend.' I was so mad that dad gave you that jersey and almost all his others."

He stopped talking for a minute, but continued on, "I remember when we were kids, and the biggest thing that you hated was people doubting you. You always had to prove that no matter what it was possible. There was once that mom said that you shouldn't be getting down and dirty but that you should be inside, taking care of the house and making sure that your significant other is taken care of. You got so mad about it that you didn't talk to mom for like 2 days." He paused laughing, "You have probably done it all Naomi. You gave your life to doing everything that you possibly could. You always made sure that me and Lucy are happy, or had everything that we needed. You put everyone before you. I admire that so much of you."

I sat up looking back at him, "Really? I feel like I'm doing everything wrong."

"Why do you feel like that?" He sat up.

I looked out the open window, "Indiana is still on my mind everyday Cameron. What happened wasn't even a year ago, it was only 7 months ago."

He sighed, "Everyone can regret something, but that doesn't mean that you have to change everything about you to move on."

I looked back at him, "I'm not changing Cam."

He nodded slowly, "Your happiness is gone. You aren't keeping your word with dad. You aren't staying a legend, your staying scared."

I turned so I was facing him, "So what am I supposed to do Cameron? You weren't there. You don't know what happened to me. Yeah I'm scared, because I don't know what to do. Don't tell me to do something if you don't know nothing about it."

"I might not know anything about what happened to you, but that doesn't mean that I don't know what happy Naomi looks like." He paused standing up, walking towards the door, "I've never seen you so happy since we were in Utah. Benny brought the old Naomi back. I never got to say thank you to him. Because of him, life was beginning to be okay again."

Then he walked out of the room, closing the door behind him.

I brushed my fingers through my hair, laying back on the bed staring at the ceiling, "Fuck."

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