Just to let you know I did not write this
There are moments that the words dont reach.
Pain. All Tony knew was pain.
There is suffering to terrible to name.
Children who have lost their parents are called orphans. But what about parents who have lost their children?
You hold your child as tight as you can.
He was gone. Ash in the wind. Dust in the air. His hands were covered in it. His ashes.
And push away the unimaginable.
Tony brought him into this. If only he hadn't made the Iron Spider. If only he hadn't given him the suit, only to take it away. If only he hadn't even met him.
But he was the best thing that ever happened to Tony.
The moments when you're in so deep.
Tony would give everything just to see him smile again. To see his eyes shine one more time while blabbering on about science. To hear his bright laughter as they work in the lab together. To run his fingers through his messy curls as Mamma Mia played distantly in the background.
Tony would give up everything for him.
It feels easier to just swim down.
Tony is nothing without him.
And now he's gone.
You push away what you could never understand.
Tony shut down. He couldn't feel. He couldn't think. Everytime he closed his eyes, he saw his broken, dull eyes, devoid of their sparkle. Everytime he looked at his hands, he saw the dust on them and why, why him, why him, why him why him why why why--
And Tony realized it was his fault.
You push away the unimaginable.
His fault. His fault. The light from his eyes are gone because of Tony. He never went back to Earth because of Tony. He could never tinker in the labs or laugh with his friends or have his first kiss or get married and grow old because of Tony.
He killed him.
Tony killed Peter.
So why should he deserve to live?
