AfterLife

Chapter 22: Insanity

I woke up feeling like shit. Every part of me hurt. Opening my eyes I looked around. Everything was blurry and unfocused. Where am I? I tried to rub my eyes but my arms wouldn’t lift. Blinking rapidly my vision cleared. I was in an old house with rotting walls with several holes in the floor. How did I get here? I looked at my arms and found out why I previously couldn’t move them. Both were tightly bandaged to the point where I couldn’t move them at all. After a bit of struggling I managed to get the bandages loose enough so I could move my arms. Why were these on me? I began tearing them off. Soon after I did this I saw why. My arms were covered in scratches and cuts. The bandages underlayer was soaked in blood. How was I bleeding? Wasn’t I dead? What happened to me? After removing all the bandages from my arms I stumbled up. Pain shot through me and I leaned against the wall for support. Wait… how could I touch the wall? Why wasn’t I just going through it? Suddenly memories of what had happened came back. Why was I turning solid? Lifting my hand I pushed it against the wall. It didn’t go through. I felt the soggy old rotting wood against my hand. How? I took my hand off the wall, confused. Pushing myself upright I stumbled towards the door at the end of the room. Next to the door was an old broken mirror. I saw my reflection and realized my spider legs were gone. I reached up and felt my back. They were gone. I started to panic. What was happening to me? I rushed towards the door. I was about to open it when someone came right through the door. Surprised I stumbled back and fell over.
“Alex! Thank god you’re alive!”
“Void?”
“Yes Alex it’s… me…”
“What, what’s wrong?”
“How are you touching the floor? Where are your legs?”
I sat up.
“I-I don’t know how. I don’t know what’s happening. Everything hurts.”
I put my hands to my head. Instead of my hair I felt cloth. Taking it off I saw what had been bandaging my head. I dropped it and felt like I was going to vomit.
“Oh god… Oh god…”
“Alex, Alex what’s wrong?”
“Void… Void please tell me you didn’t get this from one of the dead Ravens.”
“I...I did. Why? What’s wrong?”
“Oh god… I’m a monster.”
“Alex, tell me whats wrong.”
Void crouched next to me. He reached to put his hand on my shoulder. I violently smacked his hand away.
“Get away From Me!”
Void looked hurt and shocked.
“Stay away… I’m a monster…”
...
“Alex! We finished it!”
“I know I know!”
Abby held up the scarf. We had spent weeks sewing together silk we spent all of our allowance on, just for my uncle, Abby’s dad. It was a scarf, with a Raven sewn in the middle.
“It looks great!”
“I really hope he likes it!”
“Of course he will!”
“Alex, he’s coming now!”
My uncle came down the hallway looking happy as usual. Abby quickly hid the scarf behind her back. 
“There are my two favorite kids! How are my little chicks today!”
“Uncle, we have a surprise for you!”
“Oh do you now?”
“Yeah! Happy Birthday Dad!”
Abby pulled out the scarf from behind her back.
“Tada!”
“Oh you two this is beautiful! Did you make this yourselves?”
“Yep! We sewed it all ourselves!”
“Well come here my two little seamstress! Gimme a hug!
...
“Alex, you’re not a monster!”
“Void you don’t understand! I made this for my uncle who raised me and Sarah! I killed him! He’s been gone on that other assignment for so long I didn’t recognize him!”
“You didn’t know it was him! He was going to kill us!”
“He wouldn’t if he knew it was me!”
“Alex listen-”
“Well isn’t he a bother. We should just kill him now so he leaves us alone.”
I didn’t need to think twice to know whose voice was in my head. It was my own voice. I needed to leave. I stood up and rushed towards the door.
“Alex, stop!”
Void stood up and tried to stop me from leaving. Without thinking, I turned around and slapped him. I didn’t want to do that. 
“Void I have to leave. If I don’t you could die. I’m not a person anymore. Maybe on the outside but not on the inside. I don’t want to hurt you, I have to leave. I’m so sorry.”
I turned and rushed out of the door. He didn’t try to stop me. He just stood there with his hand on his face. I have stayed for too long. If I don’t leave now I’m afraid I’ll do more than slap him.
Alex walked out the door. I didn’t try to stop her this time. My face stung where she had slapped me. Questions raced around in my mind. How was she human again? How did she touch me if she is human? Why does she feel that she needs to leave? She said I could die if she didn’t leave. She said she wasn’t human on the inside. I think killing her uncle may have affected her mentally more than I thought. That doesn’t matter. She can slap me and try to push me away all she wants but that’s not going to keep me from making sure she’s ok.
I left the house and went down the street. I turned at a corner and entered a smaller street that didn’t have any current passersby. This was good for two reasons: I didn’t have anybody giving me concerned looks (I was bloody and my clothes were ripped up pretty badly), and I decreased the chance of me going insane and killing somebody.
“All these people are such a bother. Why not just kill them already? Besides then we’ll have lots to eat.”
No. I wasn’t going to do that no matter how much that part of me wants to. After a little while more I turned a corner and saw a woman in a sweater, jeans, and a baseball cap. Going up behind her I hit her on the back of the head with a rock I had picked up. She fell over, unconscious. I made sure not to kill her. I just needed new clothes and I wasn’t going to kill someone for that. Dragging her to a nearby alley I took her sweater and the hat. 
“She’s already knocked out. Let’s just kill her and eat her. I’m sure nobody will miss her.”
I ignored the voice. I felt bad but I stole her pants too (I put mine on her instead, and luckily they fit). With my new attire I no longer looked like I had just gotten mugged and stabbed several times. Leaving the alleyway I head out of the smaller street and onto a main street. There were people rushing everywhere to get to work, kids rushing to get to school. Looking at a nearby clock I saw it about 8 in the morning, one of the busiest times of the day. Great. Merging into one of the passing crowds I realized how nervous I was around people. My heart was beating out of my chest and I felt in danger around them. After living for so long away from people and avoiding them I guess it would make sense that it didn’t feel right being around them again. The voice was getting louder and more frequent.
“Look at them all so unaware. You could kill one and drag them away and not a soul would notice.”
No. Their families would notice them gone.
“That ugly brute won’t be quiet. He's talking so Damn loud to his friend. WHy not just kill him and shut him up.”
Shut.
“She just bumped into you and didn’t even apologize. WHy don’t we just kill the rude bitch.”
UP!
Something ran down my face. I wiped it away with my hand expecting blood. Instead, on my hand was what looked like tar. Shit. I guess I’m not exactly human if this is still happening. Quickly I pulled the cap down lower to conceal most of my face and turned out of the crowd into a park. Once away from the large groups of people I started wiping off my face. If this is still happening I need to be careful. If I get upset in public and this happens I’ll probably get dragged to the hospital or to the Ravens. After it seemed like I got almost all of it off I relaxed and began to think. This, was a mistake. All the hurt I had been holding in came out and I cried. I had killed my uncle, the man who raised me and Sarah after my brother died and couldn’t take care of us any more. He was practically my dad. And Abby, I had taken away her only parent. Her mother, my aunt, died when she was really young, before I was even born.
    Alex hadn’t noticed me yet which was good. I knew if she found out I was trying to watch out for her she would get pretty upset. Still, I had to fight the urge to try to comfort her when she started crying. I felt horrible just leaving her there but what could I do?
I don’t know how long I was there but when I finally managed to calm down, I began to think about what I should do. After a few minutes I decided. I was going to find a way out of the city. I could go to some small unknown town where no one would know about the demon that ravaged the city where the Raven’s headquarters were. Sure there may be a Raven or two there but they probably won’t be on the lookout for a demon. They were told it was in the city, which will be very far away from where I’m going to be.