The Survival

Chapter 17

Human beings are selfish.

We only care and miss something when we lose it.

You only miss someone you love when that person is gone. You only miss home when you are absent for a very long time. You only give value to the simplest things, the smallest pleasures when you don't have them anymore.

When we like something, we don't want to let it go. When something that was ours finds another owner, we want it back.

We know how selfish we are for many centuries ago. But we only acknowledge it when we refuse to accept that something we loved, liked or cared is gone.

We are uncertain creatures that only care about our wellbeing. We care about our wishes and desires and forget the others.

How many times did we say when we were kids that we would be careful with a doll, but at the end we never really did? How many times did we say to our lovers that we had feelings for them, but those feelings weren't love? How many times am I going to grease my boss, just to get a higher salary?

And with the feeling of possessiveness and selfishness comes the doubt.

Did I ever care enough? Do I have time to say goodbye? Would he give me a second chance? Is he telling the truth?

William Shakespeare said once that "You say you love the rain, but you open your umbrella. You say you love the sun, but you find a shadow spot. You say you love the wind, but you close your windows. This is why I'm afraid, you say you love me too."

Once again we are selfish.

So now, here, laying on the dirty ground, I look at the gray sky above me, and question myself.

I question my life, my decisions, my options and so many more.

Is my brother looking for me? Cause I miss him terribly and want to be by his side, and what about my parents? Do they know that I'm in a foreign country in the middle of some haunted forest? Did they ever love me and my brother like all parents should love their children, even though they never showed it?

Are we ever going to leave the woods?

I close my eyes and take a deep breath just to exhale next and I repeat the process with the hope of cleaning the mess and the turmoil in my mind.

"Hey," I open my eyes and turn my head to the side. Beth lays down next to me and sends me a smile, "What are you doing?"

"What do you think?" I fire back.

"You are thinking as always." She says cockily.

"Not always." I roll my eyes at her.

"Sorry, wrong word. You are always overthinking things." She bumps her shoulder with mine.

"What? I'm not." I say outraged.

"Who do you think you are kidding?" I'm going to respond but she speaks first "I know you since we were kids, you have always been this way. It's the way you are, you can't stop it or control it. So, don't tell me that you weren't thinking because I know that you were and it's probably something that for you it's a big dilemma."

I let go of a sigh, "I was thinking about James and my parents."

"And?" She adds.

"I miss them, a lot, and I was questioning if they love me just as much as I love them." Beth adjusts her body and turns it to the side, so it's facing me, she sustains her body with the help of the elbow.

"They obviously love you, how can you doubt it?"

"We are stuck in here, I have nothing better to do and I don't know if I will ever see them again and have the chance to tell them how much I like them. Even though the majority of the time I'm a complete bitch to them." With every word that leaves my mouth my voice raises and my heart twitches in pain.