Lovers

Ch. 6: Woman

Woman- Harry Styles 

"I'm selfish, I know, but I don't ever want to see you with him. I'm selfish, I know. I told you, but I know you never listen. I hope you can see the shape that I'm in. While he's touching your skin. He's right where I should, where I should be, but you're making me bleed."

Mini A/N: My one and only warning. There are explicit sex scenes and violent content in this book. Please be aware. This time around the smut scenes will be in the main story. There will be no separation, like in Benefits. If anyone has a problem or questions, please message me. 

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I haven't stopped thinking about Jake since he left. I feel like this is a never-ending circle that I'll never see the end.

Jake Dennings.

6'1. Might be 6'2 depending if he stands straight. 6'3 if he wears boots.

198 pounds. 10% body fat. Brown hair that turns black in the water. Wild and bed head 99% of the time. His teeth are practically perfect. One dimple. One beauty mark on his cheek right below his dimple. Button nose. Plump even lips. Brows nicer than mine. His nails finely short. Long fingers—

"Dawn?"

I'm too busy thinking about Jakes's knuckles, to glance at Lana, "Hm." I stare aimlessly at my ceiling, hoping it will somehow collapse on top of me. 

"So are you coming to the party or not, girl."

Is this deja vu central, or am I having a seizure? Instead, Lauren begging me, it's Lana who stares worriedly down as she stands above me. Her hair falls across her face, but she isn't bothered by it. I have been lying here for nearly an hour, and I've only spoken a few words here and there as she got ready for class.

"I already told you yes," my voice starchy.

It's a shocker I did say yes, but I need my mind off things. I hated parties in high school with a passion. There was a clear separation of people in little groups. I've only been to two parties in high school, but it was enough to scare the shit of me. Lana was not having it when I became her roommate.

I've gone to a few parties with her, and it's honestly not that bad. It's different. I guess it depends on who you party around. Lana's the co-president of the LGBTQ+ community. She identifies as being a pansexual. Not caring about what gender the person is, but their character. Her best friend is also the co-president, Ronell. He's gender-fluid if he were to put a label, but he prefers not to because "fuck labels." His words, not mine. 

Gay people are just so fun to be around.

"It's at Ronell's dorm house, right?"

"No... but he's going... maybe."

"What?" I raise my head from my bed, my eyes boring into hers.

"There dorm house is taking a little breather of parties since some girl got roofied."

"Who's going to be there?"

"Don't know, don't care. All I know is I want to get fucked up on the 4th of July, and you should too. You need it."

"Tell me about it," I mumble.

"So.. are you and Jake like a thing again." She asks hesitantly. I look up at her; the curiosity swims in her eye.

"No. It was a one-time thing. I get so caught up with him, that I forget what we went through." It's harder to sleep at night, or even taking naps because all I think about is if he's able to sleep without me. What's he doing. If he's as stressed as I am about us. There isn't an us anymore; I will keep reminding myself this every single day if I have to. "You know what, I'm going," I say confidently.