Lovers

Ch. 26: nikes

nikes- Frank Ocean

"I may be younger, but I'll look after you. We're not in love, but I'll make love to you. When you're not here, I'll save some for you. I'm not him, but I'll mean something to you. I'll mean something to you, I'll mean something to you. You got a roommate; he'll hear what we do. It's only awkward if you're fucking him too."

Dawn POV

I know this is hasty and mindless, but if Lana and Ben are supporting me through, I might as well have the strength to follow through. We're using Ben's car because his is the newest and the least mileage. He drove for a few hours, but he almost fell asleep on the freeway. I offered to drive, but Lana was jumping for joy, for I don't know why. Once Ben laid across the backseat, he was out for the count. Much of the car ride is filled with music quarreling. I swear by alternative, and she's weird into old jazz.

The sun's beginning to set when we go silent, letting a soft violin evade my ears.

My phone lights up, and "Marcus" is read on the screen. I haven't spoken to him in months. My hands begin to sweat; why in the fuck is he calling me? I shouldn't answer, but why can't I? He's an old friend, right? Or a person I use to talk to, I don't know. It shouldn't be this complicated, but I still make it out to be.

"You going to get that?" Lana asks, a brow raised at my apprehension. I don't answer, "another suiter for Miss. Dawn? Or is it Jake?"

"None of the above," I only say as I press the green button.

"Hello?"

"Dawn," Marcus answers breathily. "Wow, I'm surprised you answered."

"I am a little too," I shake my head, "Sorry, how have you been? What's going on?" I begin to ramble.

"Nothing, I just have been thinking of you lately, and I thought if you are ever are in town, we should catch up soon."

"Oh," I drag out, trying to think of something quick to say, but nothing comes. "Um, well. Yes. That sounds good."

"Call it a date,"

I roll my eyes. I cannot believe he would say that. It's harmless, but somehow it doesn't sit well with me. "Marcus, I'm not looking for a date, but a friend would be nice."

He sighs from my rejection, but he doesn't sound defeated. "I didn't mean it like that per se. I just— I always knew there could have been something... if things were different. I also talked to Jake the other day, and he said that he wants you to be happy with whoever you would spend your time with. That there wasn't a chance for the two of you."

"There isn't," I say rushingly, "but who's to say I'd be happy with you," anger creeps into my tone.

"I could make you happy."

"You barely know me." I scoff.

"I was beginning to, and I hope you'll let me continue. As a friend... for now."

"You don't know what makes me happy, Marcus. You see what you want to see. We barely know each other. Listen, I'm going to be in town this weekend. Maybe. Not for sure, but maybe we could grab lunch one day or something." I try to ease my harshness.

"Let me know," his voice now sounds defeated.

"Okay. Bye." I hang up, not giving him much of a choice in the matter.

"Looks like someone shot their shot." My ears redden at Lana's sly comments.

I don't answer, and I don't know where the anger stems from, but I dial Jake's number before knowing it. Who is he to say he makes my decisions of happiness. He is not the only reason why I have stayed single. Maybe the primary cause... no, okay, I don't need anyone to make me happy. I'm obliged to do that solely on my own. I don't need a knight and shiny armor. Fuck that. I know Marcus means well, and maybe if I wasn't so entangled with Jake, I wouldn't be as hesitant as I was just then.