From Fall to Winter

Chapter 12

There's nothing to be said about Christmas. It was no different than the days before they came over and saw me. My parents came soon after. Angela gifted me a sweater. It was pretty

I still can't believe that bitch called me a slut.

Was I wrong? On a regular day, I would feel bad for telling her business to him. But the circumstances were unique because 1) he knows already 2) and they're both some bitches. Originally I felt good for telling them off but it's Christmas and I miss them. I want to drown out my thoughts with some of Angela's boring anecdotes and I want to feel Cillian's skin on mine.

I debated whether I should go in person to give her that gift, which would probably lead to us talking again. Its not like she dwells on these things for too long anyways. Or if I should mail it to her and be done with it.

He's another story. I can't believe I'm still hung up on him based off of our Halloween rendezvous. But I think I'm at a better place since Christmas. Where I can admit that Cillian is not good for me. But if I choose to be in her life, I don't think I can do it with Cillian still there.

The phone rang. It was about 1 in the morning. Des and Carlos were knocked out on the couch. I was up cleaning the mess from before I left. I picked up the phone to hear heavy breathing.

"Hello."

No answer. I still heard the breathing.

"Hello?" I said one more time.

"Uh, yes. Wait."

I recognized that stupid accent.

"What do you want."

"You."

"I'm going to hang up now."

"No, no, no. I, uh, I really want to talk to you."

"I don't think that's a good idea. Goodn-."

"Lucia talk to me. Why are you mad at me?"

"Really Cillian?"

"Tell me why you're mad", he said in a slow stern voice.

Was he serious? I know he's fucking with me but I don't understand what he's trying to do.

"You told me you would come spend Christmas with me and you didn't. You're fucking with my head, the way you convince me that you're about me, then go to Angela and rub your relationship in my face."

"So you're jealous?"

"What the actual fuck is wrong with you. Do you not hear the shit that you're saying to me?"

"I want you. That's all that matters."

I was fuming. I kept myself from raising my voice and waking them up.

"Lucia. Do you want me?" His voice was heavy again.

I said nothing.

"I asked you a question", he said in a frustrated laugh.

"No", I said sternly.

"Don't lie to me. Do you want me", he said in an exasperated voice.

"Yes", I whispered.

Dammit.

He sighed. He said my name numerous times under his breath. At this moment I never loved the sound of my name more.

"What are you wearing?"

"A t-shirt and basketball shorts."

He laughed. "How sexy."

"I try... what about you?"

God I'm bad at this.

"A button up shirt. Boxer briefs. My dick is so hard."

"What are you going to do about that?" My voice was shuddering.

"If only you were here."

"I'm not coming over", I said in a serious voice.

"I don't expect you to."

"Alright if that's it, I think I'm going to go."

"Take off your clothes."

"You're bugging."

"Take off your top."

I sighed. I threw my top to the edge of my bed. He wasn't here to see my chest but I felt insecure regardless.

"Yes."

"Now take your shorts off."

I slipped my shorts off. I was just in my underwear.

"How are you feeling." His voice was smooth and deep. His voice alone was setting the mood.

"I feel good", I said reluctantly.

I slipped my hands into my underwear.

"Tell me what you're doing."

I explained to him what I was doing. He told me what he was doing to himself. We both finished in 5 minutes.

"That was amazing."

"Yeah", I said a satisfied voice.

"I hope I don't have to call you next time."

I hung up.