From Fall to Winter

Chapter 13

I've taken a break from them. I haven't answered any phone calls in fear that it would be them. I've asked Des to take a message whenever they call. It's only been like three times in two weeks to be honest. All from Angela. The break has been nice. I'm focusing on school for now. Every time I caught a glimpse of him in the halls I would dash in the opposite direction. Very dramatic, but it was necessary to me. Having any interaction with him would result in me dwelling on it for days. These two weeks have been hard, I'll admit it. I'm trying.

But as I was cleaning out my desk for the winter break, he saw me. Through the transparent walls. I had nowhere to run, I was picking up trash underneath my desk. He stopped and smiled at me through the wall. I gave him a small smile. Then I proceeded to bump my head on my desk. Smooth. He laughed. This would be the moment in a movie where both characters accept that they're not right for each other and leave content. But we're nowhere near that. We have not reached a ceasefire in this fictional conflict of ours. I don't even think we've reached the climax, or anywhere near that. I've forfeited and I'm ok with that. He walked in. Oh shit. Shit, uh, I can do this.

"Hey", he waved with a wide smile.

"Hi", I said softly.

"Can we talk?"

"Yeah."

The office was empty. I pulled up another computer chair for him.

I continued cleaning out my drawers. "So what's up?"

"How have you been."

He was very expressive with his hands. Shaking too. He's nervous.

"Great", I said with a wide smile.

"Really?" He raised an eyebrow in doubt.

"Yes."

"Lovely." He repeated it multiple times underneath his breath. He rubbed his, what I'm guessing- sweaty palms- on his jeans.

"I just wanted to let you know that I'm going to be leaving next semester."

I stopped shuffling through papers. I looked up at him.

"What?"

"I'm moving back to Ireland."

"What about you and Angela?"

"Well, uh."

Spit it out.

"I'm planning on proposing to her next week."

My fingers with a little weak. I almost dropped the papers. I think it was obvious.

"What?"

"I bought a ring."

He took out a ripped out page of a catalog. He pointed at a ring.

"This one."

It was a nice ring. Understated. She won't like it.

"Ah. It's lovely", I said. I gulped.

"I'm sorry if this is too forward but, it's only been 7 months."

"When have you worried about being too forward."

Ouch. He smiled. He looked out the window. Was he going to say anything else?

"You know, that whole debacle at Christmas Eve really shook her. We've really been at a high point these past few weeks."

"You don't think it's too soon at all? You're young."

"Yes but that's the thing... I'm mad about her."

I dropped my smile. That broke me. I was speechless at that point. He was smiling at the thought of her. Or he was smiling at the fact that I was about to break. Probably both.