－𝐊𝐢𝐝 𝐈𝐧 𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞 | "𝘮𝘢𝘺𝘣𝘦 𝘪'𝘮 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘢 𝘬𝘪𝘥 𝘪𝘯 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦"
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A book in which the author writes angsty and fluffy x reader imagines for each fandom they're in.
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also on!
my writing tumblr: lesbewriting
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started: 2018
fi...
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o. NO MATTER HOW HARD YOU TRY. YOU CAN NEVER ESCAPE YOUR SUICIDAL THOUGHTS. IT EVENTUALLY GETS SO BAD THAT YOU END UP COMMITTING SUICIDE. LEAVING BEHIND YOUR BOYFRIEND PETER, TO COPE WITH YOUR DEATH.
warnings: really angsty. mentions of depression, selfharm and suicidal thoughts.
a-n: before you guys read this imagine. i would just like to clarify that this is a real problem and suicide is not the answer. Please if you're at all feeling depressed, tend to self harm or you have suicidal thoughts. Then this imagine may not be for you, and i would advise for you to go get some help. ALSO when i was writing this imagine i felt like crying. So I'd suggest you have some tissues with you just incase. ▪▪▪
i dragged the cool metal of the knife's blade across my skin, forming several cuts as i did so. Tears rushing down my cheeks as i tried taking away the pain. Taking away the pain of the mess i call my life. The pain of not feeling like i belong.
It's turned into a routine for me now. A routine for me to come home from a terrible day at school, then bursting into my own bedroom. Picking up the knife i had hidden deep underneath mounds of my clothes in the chest of drawers i own. Then rushing straight into the bathroom that connects to my room. Before i would then start forming as many cuts as i could across the bare flesh exposed on my body. One cut for each insecurity i had or harsh thing i have been told.
you're worthless. cut.
kill yourself. cut.
im fat. cut.
nobody loves you. cut.
Peter doesn't love you. cut.
i dont even know how you got a boyfriend like that. cut.
you're ugly. cut.
nobody would miss you if you died. cut.
In my head i feel like cutting brings me some kind of relief, just taking out my sadness and insecurities on myself by the form of self harm. I feel like I'm constantly drowning in a sea of insults. Drowning somewhere nobody can honestly save me.
I still wonder why my boyfriend, Peter Parker even agreed to go out with me. Did he feel pity on me or something? or did he actually generally like me? i shook that thought out of my head though. Because i can't even comprehend the fact that i'm anybody special. Because i'm honestly not, im just me. Stupid, fat, ugly old me. Why couldnt Peter just love somebody else? like Liz Allen. she's honestly perfect with her facial features, skin tone, and hair. Or even MJ, who's perfect as well.
