The Call Girl

Diary 1: Entry 7

I woke in sweaty darkness in a tangle of bodies. Sua clung to me, her arms and legs all over me. As I opened my eyes, I saw Jiu's peaceful, sleeping face. She was angelic. I couldn't stop myself from pressing a soft little kiss against her flower-petal lips.

But I had to throw up, so with a pit of regret in my heart, I untangled myself and got out of bed. As soon as I stood, a headache pounded my head. I scrunched my eyes and swayed for a moment before blearily padding my way to the bathroom.

My tongue was dry and sticky in my mouth. But water would have to wait. I could already feel my stomach contents ascending. I collapsed onto my knees in front of the toilet bowl and hurled everything up.

It came in three fits of vomiting, and by the end of it I was sweaty and aching all over. That was when Jiu entered the bathroom. She was dressed again and held my clothes in her hand.

Dropping my clothes, she brushed my hair back and held it away from my face with one hand. With the other hand, she rubbed gentle circles on my back. It wasn't much, but it made the rest of my vomiting that little bit easier.

When I was done, she didn't say anything. Simply sat there with me on the cold bathroom tiles. I felt naked - and not just because I was naked. Jiu had just seen me vomit. That was hardly attractive, and I doubted that'd do me any favours in winning her over.

But when I wasn't forthcoming with any words, Jiu spoke her own.

"Are you okay?"

I nodded through my headache. "Yeah. Just about."

She inched slightly closer and placed a tentative hand on mine. "It's okay if you aren't, you know. I'm not one to judge." Then she stood, and gently pulled me up with her. "Why don't we take a shower and talk about it?"

The corner of my lips quirked. Couldn't help it. "Will you be charging me for this too?" I said wryly.

Jiu's expression softened. "No, not for this. You need to process what happened last night."

I felt warmth flush through my chest and up to my cheeks, my body buzzing. I stepped into the shower and turned it on. Despite my fluttering heart and dry tongue, I smiled and said, "Come and join me, then."

Jiu smiled back. She stripped down and stepped in with me.

We showered together in comfortable silence. Jiu washed my hair. I washed hers. We used up an inordinate amount of Siyeon's body wash to lather each other up, and we half-cleaned each other and half-cuddled.

The water temperature wrapped around us, cooler than the surrounding air. It cleansed us and suffused us in our own little world. I could barely believe it was happening. Jiu was flush against me. I could feel her heartbeat, thumping in time with mine. She pressed a soft kiss against my lips. I sighed against her. I couldn't tell you why, but I felt...comfortable. 

"So," Jiu's voice eased through the sound of the shower, "how was last night?"

I remained silence for a few moments, thoughts running through my mind. What should I say? That it was mind-blowing? Better than anything I'd ever had? Or would that offend Jiu? I wanted to woo her, not belittle her. I didn't want her to think she wasn't good enough.

My thoughts were broken by Jiu's hand cupping my face. "Hey," she said, "don't think so hard. Just say your gut feeling. How was it?"

I smiled shyly. "It was incredible."

Jiu chuckled. "I bet it was."

"How was it," I began tentatively, "for you?"

Jiu grinned. "Just as amazing."

"I'm glad. And I'm glad you like my friends."

"Of course! They're hilarious." Jiu's expression turned more serious. "But was it too much for you? Last night, I mean."

I bit my lip. "No, it was...it was great."

Jiu's brow furrowed. "Are you sure?"

I nodded in earnest.

Jiu pulled me into a tight hug anyway. She held me like that, gently swaying under the cool, running water. I melted into her. This was the safest I had ever felt. My heart was raw, like skin after a scrape. But I was protected, and cared for, not abandoned in the street.

But I ached, still. Inside. There was so much. I didn't know what to say. My friends always meant well, but sometimes they forgot things.

Oh, Jiu. My Jiu.

What have I done?