The Call Girl

Diary 3: Entry 1

When I woke, my phone was flooded with messages from Siyeon and Sua asking me what I had to tell them. I groaned and rubbed the sleep from my eyes. This was not going to be pleasant.

Dread weighed down my limbs as I got ready to go out. What would they think? What would they say? Would they hate me? Think I'm shameful?

I left my dorm and made my off-campus to our usual cafe. Normally this walk filled me with calm. Everything was normal. People went about their business on the streets. The sun shone and cast its brilliance over the world around me. It should have been a beautiful day.

The cafe came into view. Sua and Siyeon sat at our usual table outside. They already had their drinks. Their eyes widened as they spotted me, waving for my attention. I steadfastly avoided eye contact and headed straight for the counter. An iced Americano. Nice and bitter.

I took a deep breath and braced myself. This was not going to be pleasant.

I sat at the table.

"Yoohyeon?" said Siyeon. "Are you okay?"

"Why aren't you looking at us?" said Sua.

At that I decided to force my eyes to meet theirs. I gulped. "I..." I began. My voice died in my throat.

I took a deep breath, then tried again. "I have a confession to make. About Jiu."

Sua and Siyeon glanced at each other.

"What is it?" said Sua.

There was no pleasant way for this to go. I had to simply rip off the band-aid. "Jiu isn't my girlfriend," I blurted, almost throwing up in the process.

My friends gasped. Siyeon's hand covered her mouth. "You guys broke up? Because of her cheating?" she asked, wide-eyed.

"No, it's not that. We were never together," I said.

Shocked expressions turned to confusion.

"What do you mean?" Sua asked, frowning.

"She's a call girl. A prostitute," I said.

"But...why?" said Siyeon. "Why did you hire her?"

"Because I was lonely, okay?" I snapped.

Sua recoiled and held up her hands, as if calming a wild animal. "Woah, we're only curious."

I looked down at my hands, heat rushing to my face. "I'm sorry," I said. I took a deep breath before looking back at my friends. "I just...you guys don't get it, okay? Do you know what it's like for me to sit here, day in and day out, watching you two be lovey-dovey with each other while I get to be the third wheel? Time and time again I've tried to ask girls out, but they're either straight, taken, or totally not interested in me."

Siyeon smiled at me with eyes full of pity. "It's okay, Yoohyeon, you'll- "

"Find someone?" I snapped. "No, I won't. I'm sick of that line. I'm sick of going home alone. I'm sick of curling up in bed with nothing but a gaping emptiness in my chest. I had to know what it felt like. To be wanted. To be touched. To be loved. And now I do." A wicked smile had worked its way onto my face as I spoke, and I suddenly became conscious of it.

I must have looked mad, because Siyeon and Sua exchanged a glance before gazing at me askance.

"No, you don't," Sua said, as if talking to a child. "She's a professional. You hired her to do that. She's just acting."

"No, she- " I sucked a deep breath in, "I tutor her for English. We don't just fuck, we hang out and have fun like that too."

Siyeon raised an eyebrow. "So...you're friends?"

"Yes, but I like her," I said.

Sua simply shook her head, lips pursed.

"It must be an easy trap to fall into," Siyeon said, her voice gentle, "but Sua is right. She's a professional. Beyond friendship, I really doubt there's anything there."

"Whatever," I huffed. I leaned back and crossed my arms. "I'll win her over."

Siyeon shook her head. "No, you won't."

"Come on, you're supposed to be my friends and support me!" I said.

At that, Sua scoffed. "Are you kidding me? We are your friends, that's why we're telling you to let this go!"

I stood up. "Forget it. I'm out of here." I turned and strode away, biting my lip and ignoring the way Sua and Siyeon called my name.