The Call Girl

Diary 3: Entry 6

What I did that night...I still feel a sense of shame. Even now, as I write this entry. I'm not sure I actually want to write it down. But if I want people to understand, I don't really have a choice, do I?

How do I go about telling it, though? I suppose I'll start from when I left Sua and Siyeon's apartment, empty wine bottle in hand, and a desperate desire for escape clawing its way out of my heart and tearing it to shreds.

Yes, I'll start from there.

From there I made a beeline straight for Hongdae. There were many good clubs there. It was perfect for an escape. I selected one that, pardon my language, looked like absolute shit.

Its pink neon sign was flickering and fading away. People who were already drunk milled their way in and out of the club. There was a tall, sturdy bouncer in a suit at the entrance letting a line of people in at a trickle, occasionally shaking his head and dismissing those who could barely stay on their feet. I joined the line and when I eventually reached the door, I was promptly let in. I suppose young women were high value patrons for a trashy place like this.

The inside was about what I expected. It was stuffy, hazy, crowded and loud. The din of chatter eliminated what gaps were left between the heavy, obnoxious thumps of bad club music. After a few moments my eyes adjusted to the darkness. I squeezed my way through the crowd and plopped myself down at the bar.

Immediately, I ordered three shots of vodka. The bartender raised an eyebrow, but complied without comment. He must've seen my expression. I downed them, one after the other, without hesitation, and grimaced as the liquid burned its way down my throat. It almost came right back up. Almost.

On an empty stomach, the alcohol hit me fast. The room spun slightly and everything blurred into a gentle haze.

A voice sounded next to me. "Woah, is everything alright?"

I looked and my heart fluttered. A woman had taken the seat beside me. She was absolutely stunning. Her silky black hair tumbled down over her shoulders, framing a face so delicate that it must have been carved by the heavens. Highlighted through the haze by the club's flashing lights I thought she couldn't have been real.

But she was.

I nodded dumbly. "Y-yeah...mostly. It's been a rough night."

The woman smiled. "I know what that's like."

I didn't know what to say. "I bet you do."

She chuckled. "And I know what makes it better."

I raised an eyebrow, beginning to mirror her smile. "Do you?"

She placed a gentle hand on my arm. It sent an electric shock through my system. "Of course," she said.

Her name was Gureum. We chatted about this and that for a short while, but we both knew what she had approached me for.

It wasn't long before, for the first time ever in my life, I was taken by the hand and led out of the club.

Gureum pushed me into the brick wall of an adjacent alleyway, shoving her mouth on mine. Her tongue thrust past my lips. A moan escaped my throat. The sweet heat of alcohol was heavy on her breath. Loud smacking sounds escaped as I kissed her hard and fast. I drank her in like a parched woman in the desert.

Then I flipped the script and pushed her against the wall. My hands roamed all over her body. She gazed at me with half-lidded eyes.

"Touch me," she breathed.

My hand slipped under her skirt, rubbing her thighs. She nuzzled into my neck, tracing wet kisses and tongue across its arch. My fingers brushed her panties. They were damp. I rubbed gentle circles. She ran her fingers through my hair. Tingles ran down my spine. Impatience stirred in me. I slipped my fingers under her panties and stroked her folds. Her wetness slicked my fingers. My thumb began tracing gentle circles on her clit. Gureum moaned into my ear. A thrill echoed in my chest. I wanted more. I began to ease two fingers inside.

She gasped. "Yes, yes, fuck me, please!"

"Gureum?" A stranger's voice pierced the veil. My head whipped around to look at the alley's entrance. There stood a short woman whose face was shifting from confused to angry. "What's going on?"

After a split-second hesitation, Guruem's demeanour switched. Her face scrunched up and tears fell from her eyes. "Dasom!" she cried, "help! She's...she's forcing herself on me!"

I glared at Guruem. "What?" I snapped. "I am not. You asked for this."

I didn't get to say much else before I was spear-tackled by about fifty-five kilograms of rage.

We tumbled onto the alley ground. Bits of trash dug into my back as this 'Dasom' pinned me down and punched me hard in the face. Pain exploded behind my eyes, the world going black for millisecond.

"Never touch her again!" Dasom growled.

I simply snarled and slapped her face. She yelped. Using the distraction, I thrust my minimal body weight against her and heaved her off me. I punched her nose. A crack resounded from both her nose and my knuckles. We both cried out. Blood began to dribble from her nose.

Dasom threw another punch at me, but I caught it and rammed my knee into her groin. She doubled over. I tackled her. We fell on the ground again. I was on top of her now, my hands around her neck. Tried to yank them off. Unsuccessfully. Gureum lied to me. And now this idiot wanted to hurt me.

"Your girlfriend is cheating on you," I hissed. "You shouldn't have attacked me."

But the venom in her glare told me she didn't believe me. So I began to squeeze, tears seeping from my eyes. I hated her. I hated Gureum. I hated everything.

I hated myself.

Dasom's breath began to rasp and gag as she fought for air, her hands thrashing at my face. I grimaced, but didn't relent. I swear on my life, I only wanted to knock her out. I didn't want to kill her. But I can guess how it looked, especially on the receiving end. I would have panicked too.

So it was only natural when her hands, scrambling around her, closed on a beer bottle and smashed it on my head.

I grunted, the world dimming and blurring, pain suffusing my senses. I barely noticed when she stabbed the jagged remnant of the bottle into my stomach.

Shoving my limp, but still conscious body off her, Dasom got to her feet, grabbed Guruem by the hand, and ran off into the night.

Lying there, alone in an alley and slowly bleeding out, I grabbed onto the torn-up remnants of my hatred. I forced myself to my feet. My hand grasped the alley wall for support. I stumbled my way back into the street.

It wasn't long before I collapsed again, but this time people saw. A small group rushed over to me. Their questions buzzed in the background. I couldn't make any of them out. Hands pressed on my wound. Someone called an ambulance. My eyes closed again, unable to keep them open any longer, and I let myself drift away.