I'm Hers

Chapter 13 - Changing Myself.

"How long has he been admitted here? " I asked the doctor as he was checking my father.

My father is gaining and losing conscious at the same time but the latter wants to say something to me yet when he is about to say, he became dim.

I sat beside him on the chair next to his bed and the meter behind me kept on ticking the sound of my father's heart beat. At first when I ran here after listening the news, I expected my sisters to be standing along the way while throwing tantrums at me but they weren't here and its been two days since I came. I heard the doctor said that none came to visit my father until I'm.

So where are they?

Surrounding here brought me to recall my childhood where I suffered of my abusive sisters. Even my father couldn't stand them and he frequently ran overseas to escape from their mischiveous, leaving me to suffer alone. One day, that leads them to kick me out and I'm running to my grandmother with all scars on my body yet with a ached heart.

If ever I have a mother, would she let me suffer on that young age?

Maybe she won't. Or am I assuming?

I came alive from my train of thoughts when I heard my father mumbling something. I stood up and walk closer to him, only to see him eyeing me intensely.

"Father? " I called out his name and his hand came up to grab mine. His hand slowly reached up to take off his breathing mask and his breathing became difficult.

"No. Put this on, father. " I said as I took the mask from his hand slowly but he insisted me to not do so as he shake his head left to right.

"I need to talk to you, Harry. " my father mumbled lowly while exhaling his breath and I nodded.

"Harry, your my son...I'm very sorry to not be with you all this time and now...you had became a big guy. " he said as his hand reached to hold on my cheek while a small smile played on his lips.

"I know what you had suffer in your early age with your sisters, son...and I always felt bad to leave you alone with them...but my job was that important to me and how stupid I can be...son, I want to fix this right...your sisters doesn't care about me anymore and they are happily living now...so I want to give you the best for now and I want you to know that...I do love you so much." he continued as his hand stroke my cheeks softly.

I was looking him all fondly and it was the first time I seen him this close to me. He never been spend anytime with us after my mother passed away when I was three and I have been eager to spend my time with him but where was he when I needed him the most. Those three words was the words that I had been craving to hear and I found none saying those until...she came in.

"Why?...Why are you telling me this, father?...You left me alone at that time and I never have been feel that lonely before...if granny wasn't there for me...I would have suffered as a poor homeless kid on the street. " I explained with quivering lips while my voice cracking. Its possible for me to outburst in cry anytime but I tried my best to controlled it. I'm a grown man but everytime when I asked this questions to myself, I couldn't feel any good.

"Son...I know that I'm the worst father but...I want you to know that I had felt bad for it...I know that I can't give you that time before but...I can redeem those sins and I had done arranged everything...promise me that you will take it promptly and let me know that I can been forgiven by accepting my offer? " he said softly and took my hand to hold in his.

"Promise me, son? " he asked again as his breathing began hard.

"I promise, father. " I hushed and I tightly hold on his hand as if assuring him about my acceptance. He gave me a small smile and he suddenly went unconscious.

I suddenly lose one nerve and rushed for the doctor. When the doctor came in, he checked my father with patience and put back the breathing mask on him. He warned me to not do it again and the doctor said that it was the longest time that my father survived conscious. He just hold his breath for me even its difficult for him to breath.

Just to speak to me.

This is much better for him redeem himself. I need nothing more.

*****
It was already a week since I lost my father and now I'm originally an orphan. I felt the worst in me as I'm looking onto his grave. With flowers in my hand, I kept on his grave and prayed the God to keep my father happy there.

I still couldn't believe what this man does for me.

He literally wrote all of his assets and company under my name after him. He gave me all his rights to me and now I need to take care of his leftover for me. The moment when my father's lawyer approached me about this thing, I know that I had a very big responsibility to take care of and the lawyer also explained me about how bad my father adore his work.

I need to take over his place today and I came to his grave today to have his blessing. I know that he put his fate on me and left the world peacefully yet I need to change myself to take over this new life style.

I need to tinker myself to have a best self esteem despite all my past. I need to be furnished and new just for myself.

For him.