WHEN IT RAINS

VI

Water pellets attacked me like pebbles.

But I was numbed by the storm tormenting me inside. The fear of rejection.

My chest was heaving as I tried catching my breath to try to steady the beating of my anxious heart.

I could feel warm tears stain my cheeks, going unnoticed under the rain that masked them.

A dark shadow emerged from the dark and I squinted my eyes to try to get a better look. It wasn't until I took a few steps further that I noticed the figure was walking away from me.

My heart stung and I sobbed out a cry—

My body acted on it's own accord, my eyes fluttered open and I sighed when I noticed my surroundings. I was standing in the shower. The glass doors had been fogged and I assumed I had taken longer than usual.

Drying my body, I wrapped myself in a bath robe after sliding into some panties and wrapping my hair in a towel. Sliding my hand across the fogged mirror, I was finally able to get a look at myself. Sleepless nights were evident in the newly dark circles under my eyes. I smiled softly, but it wasn't convincing.

The apartment was lively as the fairy lights were turned on and music played softly on the home speakers. A handsomely dressed Jimin was laid on the bed, scrolling his thumb up and down the screen with occasional taps here and there. Noticing me, he smiled and laid his phone on the bed. He stretched his arms toward me, wiggling his fingers as he called out for me.

I fell for his needy antics and crawled into bed, straddling his hips. His hands caressed my thighs and he smiled up at me with his usual sweet smile. I knew he was trying to soften me up, but he wouldn't get away with it.

"Do you really have to go?" I pout, playing with the buttons of his dress shirt to avoid his eyes.

He sighed, rubbing up and down my thighs. "I do. It's important, May."

Am I important to you?

The thought clouded my mood and I sighed as I fell on to the empty space next to him.

I'd recently begun to feel neglected. Feeling like Jimin hadn't been investing as much effort into our relationship as I had, his spontaneous trip to Daegu for a medical convention had only strengthen my speculations. The convention was totally unrelated to the pediatrics field, yet he so adamantly wanted to go and said nothing would stop him. 'It was an amazing opportunity' he said.

But for what? It was a convention for neurosurgeons, yet, Namjoon wasn't even attending because he'd much rather spend time the holidays with his girlfriend.

When Jimin snapped and asked, 'Are you jealous?' when I asked him to stay, I had begun to think that I was acting like a needy girlfriend. I really began to think that I was seriously jealous that he was going to the convention for the specialty that I am going into. It wasn't until our argument has simmered down that I begun to notice small things that stung my heart. Although a minute pain, the small warnings added up and it turned into an aching throb each time Jimin would run an errand without asking if I would like to come just for the fun of it; or when he'd walk me to my car instead of insisting I stay over because he doesn't want me driving late; or when he'd stop sending me morning texts because he wanted to be the first one to make me smile; or when he stopped noticing me when I pass him in the hospital halls because he was too distracted harmlessly flirting with nurses (which he now called being friendly).

The little things were adding up.

"I'm sorry." Jimin broke me out of my thoughts with a light kiss to my lips which I let hesitated to return, and when I decided to kiss him goodbye, his lips were no longer on mine as he was standing up from the bed.