I Can't Explain

You Can Run, but You Can't Hide

*March, 1964*

Keith recently left The Beachcombers and joined a new band who recently lost their drummer called The Who. Even though Keith and the guys didn't get along all the time, I was good friends with Pete, John, and Roger. The three lived in a flat a block away from Keith and me. Nothing much has changed since January, I started work as a waitress, and I pay the majority of the rent. Keith plays with the band a lot, and they've had two gigs thus far. Keith loves being on stage performing, he gets bored playing at Dawson's or just sitting around at night.

One night, the six of us, me, Keith, John, Rog, Pete, and his girlfriend Helene, went out for dinner. As we walked back to our apartments, we passed the park. Keith jogged away from us to the park entrance.

"Lets play hide and seek!" He said, grinning.

Helene rolled her eyes. She was kind of a bitch. "But its dark out. And I don't wanna ruin my new shoes."

"Come on, it could be fun!" I laugh and join Keith, with Roger at my heels.

"Well I'm sitting down on this bench if you guys are going to play this children's game. Come on, Peter." Helene sits down, but Pete follows John to join our game. Helene pouts as Keith names himself "it" and starts counting. Roger takes off towards the water fountain, John and Pete go into the woods, while I go out to the open field. Its very dark out, so hopefully Keith won't see me.

I hear Keith yell, "Ready or not, here I come!" And giggle like a little kid. I drop to the ground, resting my chin on my hands. I hear Roger cuss, so he's out. I roll over and look at the stars, finding myself dozing off...

"Come out, come out, wherever you are..." My eyes jolt open, how long was I asleep?! I hear footsteps, so I know Keith must know where I am. I roll back over, my stomach on the grass, and then I hear no more footsteps. Maybe he didn't see me after all... suddenly someone tackles me and starts tickling me. I roll over, laughing and screaming, as Keith knows how ticklish I am.

"I surrender! I surrender!" I start yelling and Keith stops. I try to catch my breath, but its hard with all his weight bearing down on my stomach. Keith grins triumphantly as I try to wiggle away from him. But it appears as though I'm stuck.

I frown. "Can you let me go, please? I lost."

"Never!" And Keith begins to tickle me again. I laugh and scream some more before Pete and Roger come over, laughing.

"Aw, aren't they just so cute?"

"Kenny and Moonie, sittin' in a tree--"

"K-i-s-s-i-n-g!!!"

Keith stops and gets off me, laughing as I try to remember how to breath.

"Oh, you guys shut up!"

Roger smirks and turns to Pete, fake-tickling him.

"Oh, Keith, you animal, I melt at your very touch!" Pete pretended to be me in a very high-pitched voice.

"Oh, darling, you're simply devine--" I tackle Roger before he can go any further, simply because if he did, my cheeks might burn away.

As we wrestle, John saunters over and observes with Keith and Pete. Roger soon gives up so I get up, offering my hand to him.

Helene is long gone by the time we reach her bench, but Pete doesn't seem disappointed, as he and Rog are still having the grandest time. Keith walks on John's left and I on his right. I can tell Keith is embarrassed, even though he would usually be the one to start stuff like this. Of course Pete and Roger were just joking, there could never be anything more between Keith and me. Right?

I liked Keith a lot, he was my best friend, partner-in-crime, and my protector. Lover? Boyfriend? Never. Although I sometimes feel like I want something more. Like just the other day, I was teaching Keith to make pancakes. He flicked some of the pancake mix into my face, making me look like a ghost. Then he said I was the prettiest ghost he had had pleasure of meeting. And I knew he meant it as a little joke, but my stomach did a flip when he said it. I couldn't control how I felt around him, as he was always there. I just wished I could talk to someone about it. I may ask Roger later, or maybe John. Yes, John may know how to handle the situation.

---

"Hey, Pete, is John there?" I ask Pete over the phone the next day, while Keith was out with Roger.

"Yeah, Ill go get him." Pete puts the phone down and I wait for John to get on.

"What's up, Kenny?" That's what the guys called me, except Keith.

"Um, I need your advice on something, could you come over?" I ask nervously. I didn't know if I was comfortable with talking to John about this.

"Sure, Ill be right over."

As I sat on the couch waiting for John, I think of how I could ask John for advice without getting scared or embarrassed. Just pretend its not me asking for help.

John knocks on the door and I let him in. "So, whats up?"

"Well, its about my friend...Karen. And her friend...Kevin. You see, they're really good friends, they have been for years, but lately Karen's been having some...feelings...for Kevin. And she isn't sure what to do. Kevin probably doesn't feel the same way, and she doesn't want to mess up their friendship. So, she asked me for advice, and I don't quite know what to tell her." I look down at my lap, while John thinks for a second.

"Well, I don't really know Karen and Kevin, what are they like?" John asks.

"Well, Karen is quiet, shy, and she doesn't speak her mind too much. Kevin is... Kevin's really awesome, he's funny, sweet, a good listener, and he's always there for her, no matter what." I space out for a second, thinking about Keith. I noticed I did that a lot, he would abruptly enter my thoughts without warning, and I couldn't resist him. And whener I saw him, it pained me inside, knowing that he probably didn't think about me the same way.

"Well, if I were Karen, I would take the plunge, just go to Kevin and tell him how she feels. Lay it all on the line for him. Then see how he responds." John says. No, that won't work.

"But what if he says no?"

"That's the risk she'll have to take. If she just ignores these feelings, it'll hurt her for the rest of her life. She'll regret it. If she does tell him, there's a 50/50 chance he will say he's willing to try a relationship, but then again he may not. It would be awkward for a little while after if he said he didn't feel the same, but if they're good friends, they'll work it all out. Kevin sounds like a good guy, and Karen seems like an amazing girl. Kevin's lucky." John smiles, and I think he's on to me.

"Thanks, John, Karen will really appreciate it."

So, I am going to do it. Ill tell Keith, and I'm really confident with myself after talking to John. I just need to take the plunge, just like he said.