I Can't Explain

I Don't Wanna Be Alone

I sat on the couch mindlessly watching a movie. I was still severely pissed about getting the can from Patty, but I guess I deserve it, after all, I was late and didn't even bother to call yesterday. But still, I was having issues yesterday!!

Keith comes in, sweaty and tired, but I jump up to hug him.

"Well, I think I like this," Keith mumbles into my hair.

"I got fired earlier." I confess.

Keith pulls away and looks into my eyes with concern. "Why?''

"I didn't go in yesterday and I was late today. To top it all of, Patty's a bitch." I fall back into Keith's arms and he holds me some more. I knew that The Who wasn't making much money, and Keith didn't have a regular job. Of course I bought a frame for my mattress, so we didn't have a ton of cash...

Keith slept in my bed that night, both of us curled up around each other. He softly kissed my neck before I fell asleep.

---------

Within a week of me losing my job, Keith and I had to move in with Roger, John, and Pete. It was a tight squeeze, Keith, John, and I in one room, Roger and Pete in the other. At first, having John share a room with us was weird, but he mostly spends his nights on the couch with the radio. Roger has been acting weird since we moved in, it must be his new girlfriend. And Pete loves having Keith in the same flat, the four of them get drunk almost every night.

I worry about Keith and his drinking, he was almost 17, so I guess not the ideal age to start drinking. I have seen kids at school drink so much they get raped, hurt, and one kid even drove into a tree. I want to talk to Keith about it, but I don't want to make him feel like I was trying to control his life. It just worried me, Keith is pretty insane sober, but he gets worse when he's drunk. Just the other night, he trashed Pete and Roger's room and toilet papered a bush. He didn't get angry, just...really,  really crazy.

Keith was out with John and Pete one night, but Rog wanted to stay home. So we played Monopoly. Roger kept landing on my hotels, so I won. Well, I won three times in a row, actually. By the time our third game was over, it was 2:30. In the morning. I was nervous about Keith, I really wanted him by me so I knew he was safe. Roger sensed my anxiety and took my hand from across the table.

"Don't worry, John'll keep them safe."

"Yeah, I know, I'm just nervous, that's all." I smile at Roger reassuringly.

I head off to bed, sleeping alone for the first time in two weeks. I felt a tear roll down my cheek and hit the pillow. No, Kenleigh, don't start this! He's fine, John will make sure. He's with you now, he won't do anything stupid.

I couldn't believe my own thoughts, though. As much as I wanted to believe Keith would be safe, I couldn't help but to think he was drunk in an alley, hurt somewhere, or god forbid, in someone's bed. No, he wouldn't cheat on you even when he's drunk.

After trying and failing at sleeping, I creep down the hallway to Roger and Pete's room, knocking on the door. Roger opens in almost immediatly.

"Hey, you alright?" He asks.

"I'm just really worried. Can I stay here tonight? I mean, I don't wanna be alone."

"No, its no problem, come in."

I sleep with Roger a few inches behind me, glad for a little company. It still takes me a while to sleep, as my brain is imagining every bad situation Keith could have gotten into.