I Can't Explain

Confessions of a Rock Drummer

"Come on in, its open!" I hear Roger yell from inside. I open the door, wiping my face a bit more, and let myself in. Roger is working on the kitchen sink, so he can't see me.

"Hey, Rog, its me." I say.

"Kenny! My favorite friend of Keith's. Well, besides yours truly, of course. So how are ya?" Roger works his way out from under the sink to stand up and face me. He sees my distraught face and his face drops. "What's wrong, Ken?" Roger puts a hand to my upper arm cautiously.

"Its kind of a long story... you got the time?"

··················

I end up staying at the guys' flat all day, until Pete and John come home, and then we watch a movie. Roger understood my dilemma, and he helped by making popcorn and tea. John apologized, even though it wasn't his fault. Pete made me laugh by cracking Keith's "that's what she said" joke every chance he got.

Roger offered to sleep on the couch and let me take his bed, but I went back home. When I went inside, Keith was asleep on the couch as the news show ended. I smiled; he was still in his pajamas. I watched him for a second, as he was beautiful. No matter what happened, if Keith rejected me, or left, or tomorrow acted as though nothing had happened, I would still adore him. Just, everything about him was utterly amazing. His smile, his laugh, the way his eyes lit up when I told a joke, the way he hugged me when I cried, his kindness, how he never left my side no matter what.

I felt more tears coming as I thought about him more. If he rejected me...if he didn't want to be friends anymore... what would I do? I head to my room to cry. I collapse on my bed with the lights off, door closed, and sob. Before long I hear footsteps down the hall, and I hear them stop outside my door. I quickly wipe my tears and crawl under the sheets, pretending to be asleep. My door opens and I hear Keith pad across the carpet to my bed. I feel him sit down next to me, then slowly lie beside me.

"I know you're probably asleep now, but there's some stuff I wanna tell you, Kenleigh." Keith sighs. "When I met you, when we were, what, 11? That sounds right. When I met you, I thought you were the prettiest girl in the world. I had a littke crush on you, and, I don't know what happened, but it... never went away. I always felt something for you. I never even thought you would feel the same. Amd, frankly I was blown away by what you said earlier, because I thought you'd never say it. I knew I wouldn't have the balls, I thought ig would mess up our friendship. But... I guess we're on the same page."

I felt more tears, tears of joy. I wanted to hug Keith forever after what he said. Before I did anything, he continued.

"But there's kind of a little problem. I like you, you like me, but I don't quite know how to be a, I don't know, I guess I don't know how to be a boyfriend. I mean, all I know about love is from listening to Pete and Roger's hapless tales. And then I saw Casablanca and that was just fucking depressing. I don't know if I would be able to take care of you like I should."

I hear a hitch in Keith's voice like he was going to cry, so I roll over to find myself a mere inches from Keith's face.

"You're-- you're awake." Even in the dark I can see Keith blush.

"You bet it, loser," I grin.

Keith laughs a bit. "So you heard it?''

"Every little word." I place a hand over Keith's heart, which was going a mile a minute. I feel a shiver run through my body as Keith gently strokes my cheek with his hand. His hand felt rough, but his touch was like silk.

"I think I love you, Kenleigh." Keith whispers.

"I think I love you too, Keith." I reply.

Keith moves first, closing the gap between us, gently pressing his lips to mine. I return his kiss, feeling more confident then I ever have. His tongue enters my mouth, running along my teeth, then he gently nips at my bottom lip. My hand fumbles through his hair, the other still over his heart. After a few minutes, Keith pulls away. "You don't know how long I've waited," he says, breathlessly.

I smile and kiss his neck, and we soon fall asleep in each other's arms.

A/N: I'm getting feels just imagining this omg

Btw That's what she said is a joke from The Office, but we'll just say that Keith invented it in this fan fic, kay? -A